Mr Hippo had a delightful conversation of another of his co-workers last night, a not unattractive 22 year old woman whom he will henceforth refer to as Belle, in recognition of her Southern Heritage and upbringing.
Mr Hippo was lamenting the other day on what passes for southern youth in the form of man-boy, a ghetto gangsta poser, but his conversation with Belle gave him new hope.
Belle had just returned from Florida where she had attended the funeral of her beloved grandfather, a man of great honor who served with distinction under General Patton.
She shared with Mr Hippo the fact that she regretted that while in florida she had been unable to attend a concert of Lynyrd Skynyrd, one of her favorite bands, who was playing in the same city as the funeral
Since the original band had been dissolved following the tragic death of lead singer Ronnie Van Zandt in a horrible plane crash many years before Belle was even born, Mr Hippo, an ever curious Hippo asked how how she knew so much about the premier band of Southern rock.
Belle explained that her father was a big fan, and that she grew up listening to the greats of Southern rock.
No doubt she was soothed to sleep in her crib to the sweet sounds of such classics as Sweet Home Alabama and Free Bird.
Belle admitted that while she does listen to rap and dance, she has a special place in her heart for the songs of her parents generation.
Mr Hippo himself has tried to instill a similar love of Southern Rock in his own children,.For example, on the drive back from the beach with his older daughter, during a break in her endless playing of Hanna Montanna hits, Mr Hippo took the opportunity to pop a casette into the car tape player and played one of Mr Hippos favorite Lynyrd Skynyrd songs, "They call me the breeze"
Mr Hippo is pleased to relate that his daughter quite enjoyed the song.
But getting back to the conversation with Belle, Mr Hippo told her that he himself had seen the original Lynyrd skynyrd in concert with his future first ex-wife and shared the amusing anecdote that when Mr Hippo had asked her if she liked Lynyrd Skynyrd, she had replied, oh, yes, he is great.
Despite her obviously having no clue as to who or what Lynyrd Skynyrd was, Mr Hippo took her to the concert anyway, and eventually married her.
And while the marriage ended badly, he has no regrets since it resulted in the birth of his first child, a wonderful person with whom he has shared many happy times and has many happy memories.
But as usual, Mr Hippo digresses, since he wanted to share his new found hope on the state of Southern Youth.
Belle is the proper young lady, full of wit and charm. She is also a hearty eater, always bringing to work an amazing array of fresh homecooked foods for break time.
One time she heated up a bowl of what looked to be sludge, and Mr Hippo inquired as to what this might be.
She replied, it's grits silly, haven't you ever eaten any?
My Hippo replied that he hadn't, being simply unable to get past the name.
She insisted that Mr Hippo simply must try some and that she would bring him a bowl sometime.
Mr Hippo politely declined, saying that he had his own food, and that his diet regimen simply left no room for additional eating.
Besides, Mr Hippo informed her, he was quite happy with his daily double serving of Cream of Wheat, a tasty meal he has
eaten ever since he was a tiny hippo, prepared almost every single day of his childhood by his loving mother.
Mr Hippo has many fond memories of his mother, but the most touching is one from the very last days of her life.
Mr Hippo was much younger then, but still a fully grown hippo.
Mr Hippo was enduring a very stressful time in his life, and while visiting her in the hospital on what turned out to be almost the last day of her life, Mr Hippo is not afraid to admit that he broke down and started crying.
And Mr Hippos mother, lying sick in a hospital bed, knowing her end was near, nevertheless took the time to comfort her eldest son, telling him, it was ok, and that he should never be afraid to cry.
In fact, right now, Mr Hippo confesses that he must take a moment to wipe a tear away, thinking about that special moment of the demonstration of the depth of a mothers love and concern for her children.
But anyway, Mr Hippo, in his roundabout way, just wanted to say that his conversations with Belle have shown him that not all Southern Youth have succumbed to the nihilist degeneracy personified in man-boy, but that in fact a spark of grace and civilization still reside in Southern Youth, and such knowledge gives Mr Hippo some small hope for the future.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Mr Hippos Garden
On Mr Hippos many past visits to the beach he had noted the abundance of the ornamental shrub Oleander.
This spring, desiring to plant one to re-create in one small way the fond vision Mr Hippo has of the beach (it would go right beside the pool) Mr Hippo ventured to his local garden supply store to purchase one.
Mr Hippo was distressed to be informed that the garden store didn't stock them, since they do not survive winter where Mr Hippo lives.
However, Mr Hippo, being the plucky courageous and adventurous hippo that he is decided to try and grow one anyway.
He determined what location of the yard would provide the warmest micro-clime to grow plants that normally exist only in a higher climate zone than his, and, desiring to have his tiny piece of the beach at home, procured one on his recent beach retreat.
Mr Hippo also marveled at the small trees growing in abundance and determined to acquire one of those too. However, none of the nurseries he called had the specimen in stock.
It actually turned out to be a good thing for Mr Hippo that there were none in stock, since the only reason they were so small and interesting is that they grew that way in response to the harsh climate conditions, and that if Mr Hippo had actually planted one at Casa-del-Hippo, in a few years it would have grown into an 80 foot monster with a 60 ft spread.
Of course, Mr Hippo would not be around to see it reach its mature size, but one must not be a selfish hippo, but instead take consideration for those that will follow in ones footsteps.
The plant made it safely home in the larger of the two vehicles that Mr and Mrs Hippo drove to the beach and now it resides colourfully in the ground beside the back step of Mr Hippos abode, snug against a south facing wall.
Mr Hippo can only hope that the conditions for the successful maturation of the plant will be suitable, and that his beach side acquisition will grow over the years and be a marvel to all that gaze upon it.
This spring, desiring to plant one to re-create in one small way the fond vision Mr Hippo has of the beach (it would go right beside the pool) Mr Hippo ventured to his local garden supply store to purchase one.
Mr Hippo was distressed to be informed that the garden store didn't stock them, since they do not survive winter where Mr Hippo lives.
However, Mr Hippo, being the plucky courageous and adventurous hippo that he is decided to try and grow one anyway.
He determined what location of the yard would provide the warmest micro-clime to grow plants that normally exist only in a higher climate zone than his, and, desiring to have his tiny piece of the beach at home, procured one on his recent beach retreat.
Mr Hippo also marveled at the small trees growing in abundance and determined to acquire one of those too. However, none of the nurseries he called had the specimen in stock.
It actually turned out to be a good thing for Mr Hippo that there were none in stock, since the only reason they were so small and interesting is that they grew that way in response to the harsh climate conditions, and that if Mr Hippo had actually planted one at Casa-del-Hippo, in a few years it would have grown into an 80 foot monster with a 60 ft spread.
Of course, Mr Hippo would not be around to see it reach its mature size, but one must not be a selfish hippo, but instead take consideration for those that will follow in ones footsteps.
The plant made it safely home in the larger of the two vehicles that Mr and Mrs Hippo drove to the beach and now it resides colourfully in the ground beside the back step of Mr Hippos abode, snug against a south facing wall.
Mr Hippo can only hope that the conditions for the successful maturation of the plant will be suitable, and that his beach side acquisition will grow over the years and be a marvel to all that gaze upon it.
A Rose by any Other Name
Mr Hippo takes note of the insistence of certain members of this group to calling him "Keith".
He finds it rather amusing since Mr Hippo has never shared his given name with anyone in this group, nor has he any intention, since such familiarity should only be reserved for family and friends, which, Mr Hippo has previously stated, are completely lacking in this group.
However, Mr Hippo, being the thoughtful and considerate hippo that he always is, and being aware of the tenuous grasp some people have on reality, will not consider pursuing the matter further, since he doesn't want to be responsible for another persons final tumble into the abyss of total madness.
Mr Hippo wishes to assure the members here that if they wish (for whatever reasons they have) to continue to refer to Mr Hippo as "Keith" he will continue to respond to their posts ,and will continue to interact with everyone in here with the respect and consideration each and every one of them deserves an members of the human race.
When you get right down to it, Mr Hippo doesn't really care what anyone calls him, as long as they don't call him late for dinner
He finds it rather amusing since Mr Hippo has never shared his given name with anyone in this group, nor has he any intention, since such familiarity should only be reserved for family and friends, which, Mr Hippo has previously stated, are completely lacking in this group.
However, Mr Hippo, being the thoughtful and considerate hippo that he always is, and being aware of the tenuous grasp some people have on reality, will not consider pursuing the matter further, since he doesn't want to be responsible for another persons final tumble into the abyss of total madness.
Mr Hippo wishes to assure the members here that if they wish (for whatever reasons they have) to continue to refer to Mr Hippo as "Keith" he will continue to respond to their posts ,and will continue to interact with everyone in here with the respect and consideration each and every one of them deserves an members of the human race.
When you get right down to it, Mr Hippo doesn't really care what anyone calls him, as long as they don't call him late for dinner
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
No Deal Mr Dobson
Mr Hippo believes he has laid out clearly the terms under which he will accept
Mr Dobsons offer to share winnings.
If Mr Dobson does not wish to comply with Mr Hippos simple request to post a scan of Mr Dobsons alleged powerball ticket to prove that it in fact exists, there can be no deal.
Once again, if Mr Dobson will post a scan of his powerball ticket for this wednesdays drawing, Mr Hippo will consider Mr Dobsons offer, but untill such scan is posted, there can be no deal.
Mr Hippo
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mr Dobson wrote:
Wrong, unlike you, who will give a measley $1,000 on a $102 million winning,or 1/1000th of 1% I will give any clerk what they ask for, up to $1 million dollars or 1%.
If they are silly enough to ask for an Escalade that is what they will get. Yes, I do project my values and hope they will ask for a college education or a house. Yell us what is wrong with that?
As far as sharing Wednesdays drawing, yes or no!
No more of your silliness like the $50 bet, where you played around for 6 months and then welshed. This shows that, once again you want a one way street. You would want your million if I win, but would welch if you win.
If I win you would get a million dollars. I would even fly you to St. Paul to go to the lottery office with me and go before the press.
If you are afraid I would stiff you, the way you did me, all you would have to do is take our 2 e-mails, my offer and your acceptance, and go to Ramsey County Court. There are tons of lawyers who would take your case.
Deal or no deal Keith?
Mr Dobsons offer to share winnings.
If Mr Dobson does not wish to comply with Mr Hippos simple request to post a scan of Mr Dobsons alleged powerball ticket to prove that it in fact exists, there can be no deal.
Once again, if Mr Dobson will post a scan of his powerball ticket for this wednesdays drawing, Mr Hippo will consider Mr Dobsons offer, but untill such scan is posted, there can be no deal.
Mr Hippo
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mr Dobson wrote:
Wrong, unlike you, who will give a measley $1,000 on a $102 million winning,or 1/1000th of 1% I will give any clerk what they ask for, up to $1 million dollars or 1%.
If they are silly enough to ask for an Escalade that is what they will get. Yes, I do project my values and hope they will ask for a college education or a house. Yell us what is wrong with that?
As far as sharing Wednesdays drawing, yes or no!
No more of your silliness like the $50 bet, where you played around for 6 months and then welshed. This shows that, once again you want a one way street. You would want your million if I win, but would welch if you win.
If I win you would get a million dollars. I would even fly you to St. Paul to go to the lottery office with me and go before the press.
If you are afraid I would stiff you, the way you did me, all you would have to do is take our 2 e-mails, my offer and your acceptance, and go to Ramsey County Court. There are tons of lawyers who would take your case.
Deal or no deal Keith?
Just a good old boy
A persons reference to that classic TV show "The Dukes of Hazzard" got Mr Hippo thinking about the words to the title song, and a conversation Mr Hippo had with a co-worker last night, a 20 year old man-boy.
After enduring the man-boys endless blatherings on about his bitches, his homies and getting drunk, and taking into account his mannerisms and clothing style, Mr Hippo was forced to ask his co-worker if he was in fact a wigger.
He just laughed and said, I guess I am, but really, I'm a redneck, a good old boy.
Obviously a 21st century good old boy tries to walk talk, dress and generally act like a ghetto gangsta.
It's not entirely his fault, Mr Hippo believes his co-worker is the product of a liberal parenting style coupled with unlimited exposure to MTV.
Mr Hippo takes some amusement in the fact that alternating between telephone conversations between his bitches and his homies, he would call his mother to make sure she had put clean sheets on his bed.
Speaking of beds, our young gangsta wanna-be had moved into the finished basement of his parents home.
He tried to engage Mr Hippo by giving details of all the "bitches" he has "on the hook" and the details of the remodelling job in his parents basement. It will be truly a man-boys paradise, complete with black lights and even a clapper to turn the lights off and on.
Mr Hippo suggested to the man-boy that he might want to re-consider installing a clapper, since the sound of said man-boys hips pounding the upturned butt of one of his bitches while doing her doggy style might approximate the sound of a hand clap, thus causing the lights to go off and on in rhythm to his thrusting.
Mr Hippo is afraid he embarassed the man-boy, because he replied "oh yeah? when was the last time you did doggy style with Mrs Hippo".
Mr Hippo just laughed and assured him that the love life of Mr and Mrs Hippo was not something Mr Hippo would discuss with the likes of him.
At that point the man-boy acted all offended and slunk off.
After enduring the man-boys endless blatherings on about his bitches, his homies and getting drunk, and taking into account his mannerisms and clothing style, Mr Hippo was forced to ask his co-worker if he was in fact a wigger.
He just laughed and said, I guess I am, but really, I'm a redneck, a good old boy.
Obviously a 21st century good old boy tries to walk talk, dress and generally act like a ghetto gangsta.
It's not entirely his fault, Mr Hippo believes his co-worker is the product of a liberal parenting style coupled with unlimited exposure to MTV.
Mr Hippo takes some amusement in the fact that alternating between telephone conversations between his bitches and his homies, he would call his mother to make sure she had put clean sheets on his bed.
Speaking of beds, our young gangsta wanna-be had moved into the finished basement of his parents home.
He tried to engage Mr Hippo by giving details of all the "bitches" he has "on the hook" and the details of the remodelling job in his parents basement. It will be truly a man-boys paradise, complete with black lights and even a clapper to turn the lights off and on.
Mr Hippo suggested to the man-boy that he might want to re-consider installing a clapper, since the sound of said man-boys hips pounding the upturned butt of one of his bitches while doing her doggy style might approximate the sound of a hand clap, thus causing the lights to go off and on in rhythm to his thrusting.
Mr Hippo is afraid he embarassed the man-boy, because he replied "oh yeah? when was the last time you did doggy style with Mrs Hippo".
Mr Hippo just laughed and assured him that the love life of Mr and Mrs Hippo was not something Mr Hippo would discuss with the likes of him.
At that point the man-boy acted all offended and slunk off.
$1000 for being lazy is quite fair
A fan of Mr Hippo posted the following in a web forum. Mr Hippos answer follows
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
WOW! If Mr. Hippo wins the lottery for $102 million dollars he will give the
clerk $1,000. How generous! Maybe he'll buy the clerk a case of Pepsi too.
Whenever I buy a lottery ticket, I always ask, "And if I am lucky enough to
win what would you like?".
I love those who say, "A house or college or college for my kids". I really
want to cry when they say, "An Escalade".
My favorite was, "Pay off my college bills, pay for grad school and my wedding
in June." I wish I could have.
Make you a deal Keith. If I win Wednesday, I give you a million and if you
win, you give me a million?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mr Hippos reply:
Mr Hippo thinks that rewarding a clerk $1000 for sheer laziness is more than
generous.
Mr Hippo thinks it is both arrogant and presumptious on Mr Dobsons part to pass
judgment on the answers clerks give to his hypothetical question.
Mr Hippo fantasizes about what he would do with his winnings, and he is certain
Mr Dobson does the same, so why would Mr Dobson denigrate the answers the clerks
give?
Mr Hippo thinks Mr Dobson relishes the thought of handing out a few pennies to
the clerk that sells him the winning ticket, but only on condition they give him
a suitable answer.
As for Mr Dobsons offer of the winner giving the other 1 million dollars, if Mr
Dobson will post the image of a scanned copy of his Wednesday powerball ticket
prior to Wednesdays draw, Mr Hippo will consider Mr Dobsons proposition.
Mr Hippo
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
WOW! If Mr. Hippo wins the lottery for $102 million dollars he will give the
clerk $1,000. How generous! Maybe he'll buy the clerk a case of Pepsi too.
Whenever I buy a lottery ticket, I always ask, "And if I am lucky enough to
win what would you like?".
I love those who say, "A house or college or college for my kids". I really
want to cry when they say, "An Escalade".
My favorite was, "Pay off my college bills, pay for grad school and my wedding
in June." I wish I could have.
Make you a deal Keith. If I win Wednesday, I give you a million and if you
win, you give me a million?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mr Hippos reply:
Mr Hippo thinks that rewarding a clerk $1000 for sheer laziness is more than
generous.
Mr Hippo thinks it is both arrogant and presumptious on Mr Dobsons part to pass
judgment on the answers clerks give to his hypothetical question.
Mr Hippo fantasizes about what he would do with his winnings, and he is certain
Mr Dobson does the same, so why would Mr Dobson denigrate the answers the clerks
give?
Mr Hippo thinks Mr Dobson relishes the thought of handing out a few pennies to
the clerk that sells him the winning ticket, but only on condition they give him
a suitable answer.
As for Mr Dobsons offer of the winner giving the other 1 million dollars, if Mr
Dobson will post the image of a scanned copy of his Wednesday powerball ticket
prior to Wednesdays draw, Mr Hippo will consider Mr Dobsons proposition.
Mr Hippo
A Mystery Solved?
While Mr and Mrs Hippo and family were enjoying their beach retreat, Mrs Hippo non-the-less insisted in calling home every couple of days to check the phone messages.
Mr Hippo, possessing the sound belief that even the most pressing matters will eventually resolve themselves or go away, refused to even consider wasting a moment of his precious retreat on such trivialites, however, since Mrs Hippo is a completely free and self determining individual, and out of complete respect for her, he agreed to heart her summary of what the messages were about.
Mrs Hippo was quite concerned that every single day there were one or more hangups. She was afraid that some nefarious individual or individuals were phoning Casa-Del-Hippo in attempt to ascertain if it was safe for a burglary.
Mr Hippo believes that is why he has Home Owners insurance, but Mrs Hippo was so concerned that the sanctity of the Hippo family home might have been violated that she had a nearly friend drop by and inspect the exterior for signs of forced entry.
Mrs Hippo breathed a hearty sigh of relief when her friend informed her that all was safe and secure, yet still the hangups continued.
Mr Hippo believes that within 24 hours of arriving home, the mystery had been solved.
In that time frame, Mr Hippo received not one, not two, but three phone calls concerning generous offers from credit card companies he does business with offering him, out of consideration of his being such a valued customer, the peace of mind and security of complete credit protection.
For a cost ranging from 93 cents to $1.10 per month of the entire carried balance, they would monitor Mr Hippos credit, make his payments if he got sick or laid off, and generally give him complete peace of mind that he would never have to fear being the victim of identity thieves.
Mr Hippo, thinking that being sick or laid off is when he would need his cards the most, and having a plan to simply refuse to pay any charges made by identity thieves if they used his card politely declines their most generous offer, sometimes 3 or more times in one phone call.
Mr Hippo is now convinced that all those hangups were simply concerned individuals so sick with worry about Mr Hippo experiencing a potential financial disaster that they simply called him over and over, anxious and probably unable to sleep.
Mr Hippo on the other hand, never worries about financial disasters, and wishes to assure any concerned readers working for credit card companies that Mr Hippo sleeps soundly every single night and suggests if they are unable to, perhaps they should find another line of work.
Mr Hippo, possessing the sound belief that even the most pressing matters will eventually resolve themselves or go away, refused to even consider wasting a moment of his precious retreat on such trivialites, however, since Mrs Hippo is a completely free and self determining individual, and out of complete respect for her, he agreed to heart her summary of what the messages were about.
Mrs Hippo was quite concerned that every single day there were one or more hangups. She was afraid that some nefarious individual or individuals were phoning Casa-Del-Hippo in attempt to ascertain if it was safe for a burglary.
Mr Hippo believes that is why he has Home Owners insurance, but Mrs Hippo was so concerned that the sanctity of the Hippo family home might have been violated that she had a nearly friend drop by and inspect the exterior for signs of forced entry.
Mrs Hippo breathed a hearty sigh of relief when her friend informed her that all was safe and secure, yet still the hangups continued.
Mr Hippo believes that within 24 hours of arriving home, the mystery had been solved.
In that time frame, Mr Hippo received not one, not two, but three phone calls concerning generous offers from credit card companies he does business with offering him, out of consideration of his being such a valued customer, the peace of mind and security of complete credit protection.
For a cost ranging from 93 cents to $1.10 per month of the entire carried balance, they would monitor Mr Hippos credit, make his payments if he got sick or laid off, and generally give him complete peace of mind that he would never have to fear being the victim of identity thieves.
Mr Hippo, thinking that being sick or laid off is when he would need his cards the most, and having a plan to simply refuse to pay any charges made by identity thieves if they used his card politely declines their most generous offer, sometimes 3 or more times in one phone call.
Mr Hippo is now convinced that all those hangups were simply concerned individuals so sick with worry about Mr Hippo experiencing a potential financial disaster that they simply called him over and over, anxious and probably unable to sleep.
Mr Hippo on the other hand, never worries about financial disasters, and wishes to assure any concerned readers working for credit card companies that Mr Hippo sleeps soundly every single night and suggests if they are unable to, perhaps they should find another line of work.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Mr Hippo Feels Lucky
While preparing for the long trek home yesterday, Mr Hippo found that he needed to buy a bag of ice for his coolers. Usually Mr Hippo never carries cash, so he would have used his debit card, but this time he had 3 singles, the result of a refund for a 12 pack of Dr Pepper purchased in error due to deceptive advertising and cashier incompetence. Mr Hippo was prepared to wage an internet campaign against the offending establishment over the overcharged 3 dollars, but fortunately for all, the manager saw Mr Hippos point immediately and gave him a refund, plus his free 12 pack of qualifying pepsi product. But Mr Hippo digresses. When he purchased his bag of ice, intending to pay cash, the price came to $2.03 Mr Hippo apologized to the casher and said that all he had was 3 singles, which he offered in payment. The clerk responded by handing back one single rather than go through the bother of counting out ninty seven cents in change. Mr Hippo considered that to be a rare stroke of good luck and immediately decided to capitalize on his luck by purchasing a powerball ticket. When Mr Hippo wins the jackpot Wednesday ($102 million and climbing), he might consider repaying the clerk's generocity by presenting her with a crisp $1000 bill, unless of course Mr Hippos lawyer advises him that the 3 cents might constitute a 3% share in the winning ticket, and thus it might just be better to forget the whole thing. When Mr Hippo claims his multimillion dollar prise, his first order of business will be to return to the beach to purchase a fabulous beach front mansion, where he will wile away the days playing in the surf, building his model train layout and working on his philanthropic endeavours. Of course, thats just when he's at the beach, becasue Mrs Hippo absolutely insists on purchasing a mountain retreat for those months when it is too cold to go in the water anyway. Regards, Lucky Hippo
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