Mr Hippo is happy to report that he is spending the day attending to a long neglected task, to wit: patching the dozen or so size 34 jeans that he kept with hope against hope that he would someday once again be able to fit in.
Mr Hippo must confess that while in many ways he is totally unique and exceptional, in one regard he shares a trait with the common herd, namely the gradual increase in weight and girth over time.
Mr Hippo is a little embarrassed to admit that due to a lack of diligence on his part, he gradually increased his weight from his early 20's from 170 pounds (30 inch waist) to a shockingly unheard of weight of 230 pounds, and that his 36 inch wast jeans were even starting to get a bit snug around the middle.
This made for one very unhappy hippo, since instead of a slim trim fit hippo he was rapidly turning into what would have been in in is younger days an object of derision and contempt, a fat, lazy middle aged slob.
Mr Hippo was offered an excellent opportunity to lose a considerable amount of weight in his early 40's when he dropped 30 pounds from the then unbelievable weight of 210 pounds to a very reasonable 180.
However, Mr Hippo never wishes to be forced to use that weight loss plan again, so he needed some other strategy.
Mr Hippos weight loss dream came true when in May he found employment at a second shift position. This allowed the implementation of the only two weight loss factors that really work, namely, getting more exercise AND eating less.
Prior to his starting work, Mr Hippo's evening activities, in true Hippo fashion consisted of grazing from the fridge and cupboards while watching Tee Vee or playing on the computer.
Mr Hippos new job took care of his eating habits, and since his new job was moderately physical, it provided the needed stimulus to boost his metabolism and burn off the pounds.
Mr Hippo is currently sitting at 10 pounds higher than the weight he swore he would never be, and while somewhat satisfied, realizes that there is still room for improvement.
However, that brings us to Mr Hippo's current dilemma, namely patching all those jeans that he kept hoping against hop that he would some day fit into.
While it is true that Mr Hippo can and does buy new jeans, he likes to wear them until they are literally rags falling off of him. It harkens back to his younger days when ripped, faded and patched jeans were all the rage.
Mr Hippo has never been one to discard a fad just because it has gone out of styles, so he still wears his jeans the way he always has liked them, shall he say well broken in.
Mr Hippo hopes that his continued weight loss program will soon render all his newly revised 34 jeans too big, but then he WILL have to buy new ones because all of his 32's have long since been disposed of.
And those now too big 36's? Well, Mr Hippo is above all else a sensible practical hippo, so those have been relegated to a storage tub in the garage, in the extremely remote chance that Mr Hippo falls back into his bad old ways of eating and exercising.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Mr Hippo even treats Mr Dobson with respect
--- In the_free_and_the_brave@yahoogroups.com, Dann Dobson
wrote:
>
> I believe that there was a discussion awhile back about changing settings,
> so members could not join with anonymous IP's.
>
> It appears that Mr. Hippo has rejoined us, once again with an anonymous IP.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It is with the greatest of regret that Mr Hippo must inform Mr Dobson that once
a groups settings have been changed to allow people to hide their IP and e-mail
addresses, the change cannot be undone.
Mr Hippo fails to see what harm there is in hiding an IP and e-mail address.
Mr Hippo suspects that Mr Dobson might wish to gather such information for less
than honourable purposes.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> In the past Mr. Hippo has been moderately amusing, however his alter-egos
> have been anything, but charming or amusing. I hope that "Nastrander" or
> "freedom_web" have not been permitted to re-join us.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mr Hippo is saddened to hear that his offerings have only been received as
moderately amusing. Mr Hippo strives to make every single post highly amusing,
in fact, Mr Hippo can hear Mrs Hippo LOLing out loud reading his recent blog
post about santa claus even as he types this.
On further reflection, it would appear the fault lies entirely with Mr Dobson
and his apparent lack of any sense of humor.
Mr Hippo expresses his condolances to Mr Dobson on his dour, humorless
personality.
Regards,
Mr Hippo
wrote:
>
> I believe that there was a discussion awhile back about changing settings,
> so members could not join with anonymous IP's.
>
> It appears that Mr. Hippo has rejoined us, once again with an anonymous IP.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It is with the greatest of regret that Mr Hippo must inform Mr Dobson that once
a groups settings have been changed to allow people to hide their IP and e-mail
addresses, the change cannot be undone.
Mr Hippo fails to see what harm there is in hiding an IP and e-mail address.
Mr Hippo suspects that Mr Dobson might wish to gather such information for less
than honourable purposes.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> In the past Mr. Hippo has been moderately amusing, however his alter-egos
> have been anything, but charming or amusing. I hope that "Nastrander" or
> "freedom_web" have not been permitted to re-join us.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mr Hippo is saddened to hear that his offerings have only been received as
moderately amusing. Mr Hippo strives to make every single post highly amusing,
in fact, Mr Hippo can hear Mrs Hippo LOLing out loud reading his recent blog
post about santa claus even as he types this.
On further reflection, it would appear the fault lies entirely with Mr Dobson
and his apparent lack of any sense of humor.
Mr Hippo expresses his condolances to Mr Dobson on his dour, humorless
personality.
Regards,
Mr Hippo
Mr Hippo Deserves an Apology
Mr Hippo has decided to share a series of abusive posts directed at Mr Hippo
from the kind loving Ms Modrepub in TFATB:
-------------------------------------------
OMG, get the shovel to pick up the shit. What in God's name are you doing here?
Noah must be back on the morphine. Thought you were content being in your Yahoo
third rated group for the "sped" category. You, or your alter ego have not acted
like a gentleman so how in the world would you be capable of recognizing the
traits credited to Noah? I swear to God, Loki, every time you claim that you
have seen the error of your ways, in the dodgy way that you do it, you get back
in here and become a menace. You swore that you had no intention of returning
back here and here you are again. I knew there was a reason I didn't sleep well
last night.
-------------------------------------------
You've returned to drive me over the edge. What can I expect next? Mark Martin
returns as Mr. Crocodile?
-------------------------------------------
He is doing it again, sick bastard picking on group members. He's just hiding
his sinister attitude behind sophisticated pretty word speak.
< Mr Hippo can hear Mrs Hippo LOLing out loud reading his recent blog post about
santa claus even as he types this.>
Does Mrs. Nas know that you refer to her as Mrs. Hippo?
------------------------------------------
Noah, put down the crack pipe. What are you thanking him for?
-----------------------------------------
IT NEVER HAPPENS!!
--- In the_free_and_the_brave@yahoogroups.com, "libatarianridgerunner"
wrote:
>
> I will expect that Mr. Hippo and Mr. dobson will get along despite their past
history. We are all adults. I expect those in this group to act as such.
------------------------------------------
Yeah, *sniff* okay, See, I knew you were up to something, and don't try pulling
that innocent stuff either.
------------------------------------------
I forgot to mention not using the victim stuff and you are also misquoting me. I
thought, you and Mark were happy together. You know, your pig mate that you seem
to allow to act as one especially towards women. Your serve, pal.
-----------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
In response to all this abuse, Mr Hippo felt that he had no choice but to
resign:
It is becoming clear to Mr Hippo that Ms Repub was not sincere in her stated
desire to see Mr Hippo return to this group.
Not wishing to stay where he is not wanted, Mr Hippo will take his leave at
once.
If at such time the moderators change their mind and wish to express a genuine
desire to have Mr Hippo return as a member, they know where to find him.
Regards,
Mr Hippo
from the kind loving Ms Modrepub in TFATB:
-------------------------------------------
OMG, get the shovel to pick up the shit. What in God's name are you doing here?
Noah must be back on the morphine. Thought you were content being in your Yahoo
third rated group for the "sped" category. You, or your alter ego have not acted
like a gentleman so how in the world would you be capable of recognizing the
traits credited to Noah? I swear to God, Loki, every time you claim that you
have seen the error of your ways, in the dodgy way that you do it, you get back
in here and become a menace. You swore that you had no intention of returning
back here and here you are again. I knew there was a reason I didn't sleep well
last night.
-------------------------------------------
You've returned to drive me over the edge. What can I expect next? Mark Martin
returns as Mr. Crocodile?
-------------------------------------------
He is doing it again, sick bastard picking on group members. He's just hiding
his sinister attitude behind sophisticated pretty word speak.
< Mr Hippo can hear Mrs Hippo LOLing out loud reading his recent blog post about
santa claus even as he types this.>
Does Mrs. Nas know that you refer to her as Mrs. Hippo?
------------------------------------------
Noah, put down the crack pipe. What are you thanking him for?
-----------------------------------------
IT NEVER HAPPENS!!
--- In the_free_and_the_brave@yahoogroups.com, "libatarianridgerunner"
>
> I will expect that Mr. Hippo and Mr. dobson will get along despite their past
history. We are all adults. I expect those in this group to act as such.
------------------------------------------
Yeah, *sniff* okay, See, I knew you were up to something, and don't try pulling
that innocent stuff either.
------------------------------------------
I forgot to mention not using the victim stuff and you are also misquoting me. I
thought, you and Mark were happy together. You know, your pig mate that you seem
to allow to act as one especially towards women. Your serve, pal.
-----------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
In response to all this abuse, Mr Hippo felt that he had no choice but to
resign:
It is becoming clear to Mr Hippo that Ms Repub was not sincere in her stated
desire to see Mr Hippo return to this group.
Not wishing to stay where he is not wanted, Mr Hippo will take his leave at
once.
If at such time the moderators change their mind and wish to express a genuine
desire to have Mr Hippo return as a member, they know where to find him.
Regards,
Mr Hippo
Monday, November 30, 2009
Santa Claus sighted at Big Lots
Mr Hippo and his family were visiting one of their favorite stores yesterday for ornaments for their Yuletide tree, when who did Mr Hippo see but the jolly old fat man himself, shopping with his wife. He was wearing street clothes, but his full head of snow white hair and magnificant white beard gave him away instantly.
Mr Hippo leaned over to his young daughters and whispered.... "Look, that might be Santa" Mr Clause saw us and heard us and just gave a smile and said, you never know, but I hope you're being good.
With a wave and a nod The Hippo family went on their way. The girls were suitably impressed and discussed at length if that was in fact the real Santa. They decided that it just might be.
After Big Lots, The Hippo Clan made their way to Wal Mart, where his daughters sat in the lap of a cheesy fake Santa and had their pictures taken. The nice thing about walmart is that in the true spirit of the season, wal mart takes the pictures for free instead of exorbitant price gouging that so many other establishments charge for the honour of sitting in the lap of some old guy in an ill-fitting red suit and even worse fitting fake beard.
Mr Hippo
Mr Hippo leaned over to his young daughters and whispered.... "Look, that might be Santa" Mr Clause saw us and heard us and just gave a smile and said, you never know, but I hope you're being good.
With a wave and a nod The Hippo family went on their way. The girls were suitably impressed and discussed at length if that was in fact the real Santa. They decided that it just might be.
After Big Lots, The Hippo Clan made their way to Wal Mart, where his daughters sat in the lap of a cheesy fake Santa and had their pictures taken. The nice thing about walmart is that in the true spirit of the season, wal mart takes the pictures for free instead of exorbitant price gouging that so many other establishments charge for the honour of sitting in the lap of some old guy in an ill-fitting red suit and even worse fitting fake beard.
Mr Hippo
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Mr Hippo Goes Camping Part 2
The next morning Mr Hippo and family were roused at the crack of dawn by an incredibly noisy flock of crows, but since Mr Hippo had a full day of activities planned, it was all for the best.
Mr Hippo is at this point forced to admit that while he scoffs at Mrs Hippos insistence on getting an electric site, he must admit that he enjoys not having to build a fire or messing with the Coleman stove before he is able to put the kettle on to boil water for his first cup of coffee of the day
After 3 coffees, the first order of business was to drive into town to get Mrs Hippo an ankle brace, and buy all the goodies that Mr Hippo had neglected to pack.
The nearest town of any size was only 5 miles away, and it boasted that marvel of modern civilization, a Super Wal-Mart,
where the Hippo family was able to purchase everything needed to make the Camping Trip a complete success.
After returning to camp, Mr Hippo suggested that a picnic lunch at the top of the mountain would be a fine thing, and Mrs Hippo agreed,
since the mountain Mr Hippo had in mind had a road all the way to the top, which is the only way Mrs Hippo
goes to the top of any mountain now, on account of her previous experience.
An excellent lunch was enjoyed by all.
Next on the schedule was a relaxing paddle in the lake. Mr and Mr Hippo rented a canoe, while Lou Lou got a paddle boat for her and the 3 kids.
That lasted for about 20 minutes until the whining from the paddle boat made a course change back to the dock a necessity.
Mr Hippo also dropped Mrs Hippo at the dock, and his children joined him the canoe. After giving paddling lessons to his oldest daughter, they set off,
until after 10 minutes his youngest claimed that she was bored, and once again landfall was made.
Talking about paddling lessons reminds Mr Hippo of an amusing incident that occurred some years ago while at the beach,
and since Mr Hippo never misses an opportunity to diverge from his original train of thought, he will share it with you.
Mr Hippo thought it would be a simply marvelous idea to ride the wave in a large rubber raft,
the kind that is 10 feet long and can hold 4 people, assuming two of the people weigh less than 50 pounds pounds each.
Mr Hippo dragged the boat out a good ways and urged Mrs Hippo to get in, assuring her that he would climb in right after.
Well as soon as Mrs Hippo got into the raft, it started to drift out to sea, on account of the wind blowing away from the shore.
Mr Hippo urged Mrs Hippo to use the paddle to bring herself back towards him. Mrs Hippo tried, but was completely unsuccessful.
Mr Hippo, partly out of annoyance, and partly out of concern that Mrs Hippo would be blown out to sea and lost for ever, yelled out
"WHAT DO YOU NEED? PADDLING LESSONS?
That did not improve Mrs Hippos disposition in the slightest, and Mr Hippo was finally forced to swim out to the raft
and drag it back into shallow water, where Mrs Hippo disembarked the raft, vowing never to use one again.
Mr Hippo grumbled something about incompetence, and climbed into the raft. He put the paddle into the water and gave a mighty stroke,
at which point the raft did a complete 360 degree turn, and Mr Hippo realized, somewhat sheepishly, that you simply can't paddle a rubber raft.
Thus Mr Hippo's question entered forever the Hippo Family Colloquialisms, asked whenever someone is unable to do something that to an observer seems rather simple.
So for example, if Mrs Hippo was having trouble parallel parking, Mr Hippo might enquire, "What do you need? Parallel parking lessons?, or if Mr Hippo had been observed trying to use Mrs Hippos cell phone the night before might have been asked, what do you need? Cell phone lessons?.
This question is generally followed by smiles and laughter by all concerned, but not always.
But Mr Hippo has digressed long enough.
Mr Hippo set off in the canoe again, with just his eldest this time, in the bow, paddling like a natural. They headed out to the middle of the lake where
Mr Hippo spied the dam at the top end of of the lake, and suggested they paddle to it. His daughter declined and they made landfall for the 3rd and last time.
When the Hippo Family arrived back at the camp, the kids were settled in the tents for their quiet time, namely the children lay down so the parents could have some quiet, Mr Hippo declared it was time for his "Hike In The Woods"
There was a trail on the park map called "Rocks Trail". Mr Hippo has always been a big fan of rocks, and figuring the people that named the trail wouldn't lie,
and it since it seemed to end right at the lake, he decided that would be just the Thing To Do.
After his children declined his offer to join him, Mr Hippo decided to strike out alone, but not before packing some drinks and trail mix.
Mr Hippo decided that based on the distance, terrain and temperature, the best mix for this trail would be a baggie full of Doritos and a handful of snickers mini bars.
Mr Hippo marked his route on a spare map in red ink and advised Mr Hippo that he would be back by 4:30 at the latest,
but if for some reason he wasn't back by 5 to be sure to put his Italian sausages on to boil for dinner.
Mr Hippo likes to boil them to ensure they are fully cooked, and then puts them on the grill for a few minutes to get that genuine bbq flavour
Almost as soon as Mr Hippo started down the trail, his spirit soared, because there, right at the side of the trail he saw, "The Warning Sign"
The warning sign said that large rocks, cliffs, and deep water awaited anyone the headed down the trail, and that serious injury and death might result for anyone foolish enough to continue.
Mr Hippo is never one to pass up on the possibility of serious injury or death, so off he went. He was even happier when he realized that he had started his trek at 3:15,
almost the exact time he would start his drive to work if it was a normal Saturday, and he was not on a Grand Camping Adventure.
After walking for half an hour or so (it was only 1.3 miles one way) Mr Hippo came to another sign with that that same warning.
Since the trail seemed to end, and he could look right down at the lake, Mr Hippo assumed he had come to the place where serious injury and death awaited him.
Mr Hippo must confess that he wasn't overly impressed. There was a fairly gentle slope to the lake with several not too large rocks forming rather tiny cliffs.
He walked down the slope, found a mid sized rock where he could dangle his feet without touching the ground and proceeded to drink his soda and eat his trail mix.
In such a quiet peaceful place, Mr Hippo would like to report that he contemplated the Big Picture, the meaning of life and his place in it, but alas, that did not happen.
What Mr Hippo did think about was writing this blog post, making sure to include all the important bits, and chuckling over his idea of trail mix.
After 20 minutes or so, having eaten all his snacks, and having had enough of flirting with serious injury or death, Mr Hippo got up and headed back up the slope.
At the top, he looked to his right, past the warning sign, and saw that he, Mr Hippo, had been mistaken. This was NOT the end of the trail
There clearly visible, was another trail marker, and Mr Hippo realized he might not yet have actually reached the place where serious injury and death were a possibility.
He walked on another 50 feet or so, and saw the trail go straight down the side of a cliff.
At this point, Mr Hippo realized that serious injury and death might occur if one was under the age of 5 or attempted to
negotiate the cliff in a wheel chair, but it was better than nothing, so he climbed the 15 feet straight down to the level of the lake.
There, the rocks and cliffs were marginally bigger, and Mr Hippo enjoyed the view for a bit,
but his trail mix was all gone, and the thought of getting his sausages into a pot in a timely manner dominated his thoughts,
so Mr Hippo scrambled back up the cliff and made his way back along the trail to camp.
When he arrived back at the campsite, no one was in sight, so assuming they were all napping,
he yelled out, get up you lazy bums, but no one was there, they had all gone to the bathroom.
When they returned, Mrs Hippo suggested that perhaps Mr Hippo had better get his sausages in the pot, so they could all eat at the same time.
It was then that Mr Hippo realized a horrible truth.
While he remembered that it was true that he had looked at his bag of onions in the fridge and reminded himself that
he must pack them in the food container, it was also true that he could NOT remember actually packing the onions in the food container,
and that he, Mr Hippo, would have to eat his Italian sausages NOT smothered in lightly sauteed onions.
It was a thought the Mr Hippo could hardly bear. However he was able to console himself by realizing that since he wouldn't be filling up on
lightly sauteed onion, he might actually be able to eat 3 sausages on their crusty buns for a change.
Mr Hippo is forced to confess, he was only able to eat 2 sausages on their crusty buns, he ate the 3rd one by stabbing it with his fork and eating it that way.
To Be Continued...
Mr Hippo is at this point forced to admit that while he scoffs at Mrs Hippos insistence on getting an electric site, he must admit that he enjoys not having to build a fire or messing with the Coleman stove before he is able to put the kettle on to boil water for his first cup of coffee of the day
After 3 coffees, the first order of business was to drive into town to get Mrs Hippo an ankle brace, and buy all the goodies that Mr Hippo had neglected to pack.
The nearest town of any size was only 5 miles away, and it boasted that marvel of modern civilization, a Super Wal-Mart,
where the Hippo family was able to purchase everything needed to make the Camping Trip a complete success.
After returning to camp, Mr Hippo suggested that a picnic lunch at the top of the mountain would be a fine thing, and Mrs Hippo agreed,
since the mountain Mr Hippo had in mind had a road all the way to the top, which is the only way Mrs Hippo
goes to the top of any mountain now, on account of her previous experience.
An excellent lunch was enjoyed by all.
Next on the schedule was a relaxing paddle in the lake. Mr and Mr Hippo rented a canoe, while Lou Lou got a paddle boat for her and the 3 kids.
That lasted for about 20 minutes until the whining from the paddle boat made a course change back to the dock a necessity.
Mr Hippo also dropped Mrs Hippo at the dock, and his children joined him the canoe. After giving paddling lessons to his oldest daughter, they set off,
until after 10 minutes his youngest claimed that she was bored, and once again landfall was made.
Talking about paddling lessons reminds Mr Hippo of an amusing incident that occurred some years ago while at the beach,
and since Mr Hippo never misses an opportunity to diverge from his original train of thought, he will share it with you.
Mr Hippo thought it would be a simply marvelous idea to ride the wave in a large rubber raft,
the kind that is 10 feet long and can hold 4 people, assuming two of the people weigh less than 50 pounds pounds each.
Mr Hippo dragged the boat out a good ways and urged Mrs Hippo to get in, assuring her that he would climb in right after.
Well as soon as Mrs Hippo got into the raft, it started to drift out to sea, on account of the wind blowing away from the shore.
Mr Hippo urged Mrs Hippo to use the paddle to bring herself back towards him. Mrs Hippo tried, but was completely unsuccessful.
Mr Hippo, partly out of annoyance, and partly out of concern that Mrs Hippo would be blown out to sea and lost for ever, yelled out
"WHAT DO YOU NEED? PADDLING LESSONS?
That did not improve Mrs Hippos disposition in the slightest, and Mr Hippo was finally forced to swim out to the raft
and drag it back into shallow water, where Mrs Hippo disembarked the raft, vowing never to use one again.
Mr Hippo grumbled something about incompetence, and climbed into the raft. He put the paddle into the water and gave a mighty stroke,
at which point the raft did a complete 360 degree turn, and Mr Hippo realized, somewhat sheepishly, that you simply can't paddle a rubber raft.
Thus Mr Hippo's question entered forever the Hippo Family Colloquialisms, asked whenever someone is unable to do something that to an observer seems rather simple.
So for example, if Mrs Hippo was having trouble parallel parking, Mr Hippo might enquire, "What do you need? Parallel parking lessons?, or if Mr Hippo had been observed trying to use Mrs Hippos cell phone the night before might have been asked, what do you need? Cell phone lessons?.
This question is generally followed by smiles and laughter by all concerned, but not always.
But Mr Hippo has digressed long enough.
Mr Hippo set off in the canoe again, with just his eldest this time, in the bow, paddling like a natural. They headed out to the middle of the lake where
Mr Hippo spied the dam at the top end of of the lake, and suggested they paddle to it. His daughter declined and they made landfall for the 3rd and last time.
When the Hippo Family arrived back at the camp, the kids were settled in the tents for their quiet time, namely the children lay down so the parents could have some quiet, Mr Hippo declared it was time for his "Hike In The Woods"
There was a trail on the park map called "Rocks Trail". Mr Hippo has always been a big fan of rocks, and figuring the people that named the trail wouldn't lie,
and it since it seemed to end right at the lake, he decided that would be just the Thing To Do.
After his children declined his offer to join him, Mr Hippo decided to strike out alone, but not before packing some drinks and trail mix.
Mr Hippo decided that based on the distance, terrain and temperature, the best mix for this trail would be a baggie full of Doritos and a handful of snickers mini bars.
Mr Hippo marked his route on a spare map in red ink and advised Mr Hippo that he would be back by 4:30 at the latest,
but if for some reason he wasn't back by 5 to be sure to put his Italian sausages on to boil for dinner.
Mr Hippo likes to boil them to ensure they are fully cooked, and then puts them on the grill for a few minutes to get that genuine bbq flavour
Almost as soon as Mr Hippo started down the trail, his spirit soared, because there, right at the side of the trail he saw, "The Warning Sign"
The warning sign said that large rocks, cliffs, and deep water awaited anyone the headed down the trail, and that serious injury and death might result for anyone foolish enough to continue.
Mr Hippo is never one to pass up on the possibility of serious injury or death, so off he went. He was even happier when he realized that he had started his trek at 3:15,
almost the exact time he would start his drive to work if it was a normal Saturday, and he was not on a Grand Camping Adventure.
After walking for half an hour or so (it was only 1.3 miles one way) Mr Hippo came to another sign with that that same warning.
Since the trail seemed to end, and he could look right down at the lake, Mr Hippo assumed he had come to the place where serious injury and death awaited him.
Mr Hippo must confess that he wasn't overly impressed. There was a fairly gentle slope to the lake with several not too large rocks forming rather tiny cliffs.
He walked down the slope, found a mid sized rock where he could dangle his feet without touching the ground and proceeded to drink his soda and eat his trail mix.
In such a quiet peaceful place, Mr Hippo would like to report that he contemplated the Big Picture, the meaning of life and his place in it, but alas, that did not happen.
What Mr Hippo did think about was writing this blog post, making sure to include all the important bits, and chuckling over his idea of trail mix.
After 20 minutes or so, having eaten all his snacks, and having had enough of flirting with serious injury or death, Mr Hippo got up and headed back up the slope.
At the top, he looked to his right, past the warning sign, and saw that he, Mr Hippo, had been mistaken. This was NOT the end of the trail
There clearly visible, was another trail marker, and Mr Hippo realized he might not yet have actually reached the place where serious injury and death were a possibility.
He walked on another 50 feet or so, and saw the trail go straight down the side of a cliff.
At this point, Mr Hippo realized that serious injury and death might occur if one was under the age of 5 or attempted to
negotiate the cliff in a wheel chair, but it was better than nothing, so he climbed the 15 feet straight down to the level of the lake.
There, the rocks and cliffs were marginally bigger, and Mr Hippo enjoyed the view for a bit,
but his trail mix was all gone, and the thought of getting his sausages into a pot in a timely manner dominated his thoughts,
so Mr Hippo scrambled back up the cliff and made his way back along the trail to camp.
When he arrived back at the campsite, no one was in sight, so assuming they were all napping,
he yelled out, get up you lazy bums, but no one was there, they had all gone to the bathroom.
When they returned, Mrs Hippo suggested that perhaps Mr Hippo had better get his sausages in the pot, so they could all eat at the same time.
It was then that Mr Hippo realized a horrible truth.
While he remembered that it was true that he had looked at his bag of onions in the fridge and reminded himself that
he must pack them in the food container, it was also true that he could NOT remember actually packing the onions in the food container,
and that he, Mr Hippo, would have to eat his Italian sausages NOT smothered in lightly sauteed onions.
It was a thought the Mr Hippo could hardly bear. However he was able to console himself by realizing that since he wouldn't be filling up on
lightly sauteed onion, he might actually be able to eat 3 sausages on their crusty buns for a change.
Mr Hippo is forced to confess, he was only able to eat 2 sausages on their crusty buns, he ate the 3rd one by stabbing it with his fork and eating it that way.
To Be Continued...
Mr Hippo Goes Camping Part 1
Mr Hippos is pleased to report that he has just returned from a well deserved,
2 night camping trip at a wonderful park located a short 60 miles from Casa Del Hippo.
This is the first time Mr Hippo has camped there, because prior to this year,
that particular park system didn't take reservations, and Mr Hippo simply refuses to drive any distance at all
to arrive at a park with Mrs Hippo and the children in tow to find the dreaded "Campground Full" sign barring his way.
But anyway, Mr Hippo discovered that the park took reservations while he was searching out campgrounds in a nearby National Forest.
Mr Hippo didn't really want to stay in a National Forest campground this time of year because it is in the middle of the
Fall Hunting season, and Mr Hippo simply hates the color orange in any form, especially on articles of clothing.
Thus Mr Hippo would have not been able to take the requisite "Hike In The Woods" which is a staple of any Mr Hippo Camping Adventure.
Since Mr Hippo had never been to the park in question except on a day trip some years before,
and since the park map online didn't have a decent campground map, he thought it prudent to check out the
campground in person to pick the exact perfect spot for Mr Hippo and family to commune with nature.
This of course entailed Mr Hippo driving to the park and scoping out the available sites that would be vacant for the weekend,
a rather short list since Mrs Hippo absolutely insisted on an electric site.
Mr Hippo chose a perfect site, since nothing less would suffice, a site not too close to any neighbours,
but not too far from the bathrooms, an important consideration when one has young children in tow.
It also had to have a very large tent pad, since a good friend of
Mrs Hippo and her child would be joining us, making 2 vehicles, two tents, and 6 people.
Mr Hippo rose at his usual time Friday morning and instead of bidding his family adieu until the afternoon, drove Mrs Hippo and the children to school.
The plan was that Mr Hippo would pack the truck and drive out to the campground, where Mr Hippo would set up camp,
having everything ready when his family arrived in the evening in the car of Mrs Hippos friend, who will henceforth be referred to as Lou-Lou, the friend, not the car.
Mr Hippo left home at 12 noon, after spending the morning doing laundry, shopping for supplies and packing the truck.
Mr Hippo wasn't sure how he would get everything back home again, since the truck
was packed absolutely full of necessities, and no allowance was made for either Mrs Hippo or the children on the return trip.
Mr Hippo really wanted to get out by noon, since in the first town he would pass through 20 miles away had an Arbys restaurant,
and Mr Hippo once again wished to partake of the 5 for $6.95 deal for lunch.
Mr Hippo had the same deal on the way home from booking the campground, but he felt slightly gypped,
since he was forced to use one of his 5 picks on a soda. This time Mr Hippo had a cooler full of drinks,
so he could use the deal the way it was truly intended, to purchase 5 food items.
Mr Hippo decided that 2 cheddar melts and 3 curly fries would be just the thing to satisfy his hunger until he could
drive the remaining distance to camp, set up the two tents, organize everything, and lounge about until dinner time.
Mrt Hippos family would be dining en route, so Mr Hippo was free to indulge in one of his favorite camping meals.
Mr Hippo will share it with you:
1 can beef stew
1 can french style green beans
1 can new potatoes.
Open all 3 cans.
pour beef stew into large pot
drain water from beans and potaotes and pour into same pot.
Heat untill hot.
Pour in large bowl and eat untill stuffed.
For a real gourmet touch, one can have a crusty bun on the side,
however, Mr Hippo was saving his crusty buns for the following nights meal.
Once dinner was over and the one pot washed,
(Mr Hippo always uses paper plates and plastic cutlery when camping),
Mr Hippo settled in front of the fire to await his family.
Mr Hippo wasn't sure if he had mentioned to Mrs Hippo that the park gate is locked promptly at 8 pm,
but he didn't think it would matter, since by his reckoning, they would arrive by 7 at the absolute latest.
When 7 had come and gone and 7:30 was looming dead ahead, Mr Hippo thought that perhaps he would call
Mrs Hippo on the cell phone Mrs Hippo had left for him so that she could call and appraise Mr Hippo of their progress.
But, Mr Hippos first foray into 21st century telecommunications technology was doomed to abject failure.
There were ZERO bars, and thus Mr Hippo could neither make nor receive phone calls.
As 8 o'click loomed closer and closer, Mr Hippo dug through his wallet and found on a scrap of paper the
phone number and card number for a calling card that had long since disintegrated.
After banging the cell phone keys for a good 10 minutes, Mr Hippo was able to find the phone listings and the phone number of Lou Lou's cell phone.
Mr Hippo called, and got Lou Lou's voice mail instead. Mr Hippo later found out that at the exact time he had called lou lou,
Mrs hippo was trying to call him, and had in fact ignored the incoming call in her doomed attempt to reach Mr Hippo.
After finding out from the ranger the exact location of the gate to be locked, so as not to be accidentally
locked out himself, Mrt Hippo headed out to wait for his family and guide them to the campsite.
Mr Hippo entertained the possibility that his family had come into the campground just as Mr Hippo left, and being on a loop,
they would never have seen each other, so he returned to the campsite to wait untill after the gate was locked,
at which point he would have set his lonely vigil inside the camp gate, for as long as it would take.
However, it didn't come to that, for as Mr Hippo was driving the campground loop
back to the campsite, he heard cries of "there he is" and "daddy daddy"
Mr Hippo parked the truck and saw his eldest came running down the campground road.
But instead of being greeted by "daddy, I missed you" he heard the words "daddy, mommy fell and twisted her ankle".
October doesn't agree with Mrs Hippo, ever since she fell on a flat, level stretch of trail coming down off of a
mountain hike 3 years ago, and had to be carried the rest of the way off the mountain on a litter,
and spend a week on crutches after her ankle swelled up as big as a grapefruit.
The swelling wasn't there, but the pain was, but if there was a positive side,
then it was that Mrs Hippo wouldn't fall in the middle of "The Hike in the Woods",
since "The Hike to the Bathroom" would now be adventure enough.
On the way back from the bathroom the first time, since the shortest route between the campsite
and the bathroom was through the woods, Mr Hippo was thoughfully lighting the way with his flashlight,
and pointing out various tree roots and other obstacles.
At one point, Mt Hippo, in a joking mood said "look out, here's a flat level spot", and he narrowly
missed being whacked in the back of the head by Mrs Hippo,
on account of his being just out of reach, and Mrs Hippo being unable to run.
The night was glorious, the fire was roaring, the moon almost full, and everyone sat around the campfire drinking their favorite drinks and nibbling their favorite snacks.
To Be Continued.....
2 night camping trip at a wonderful park located a short 60 miles from Casa Del Hippo.
This is the first time Mr Hippo has camped there, because prior to this year,
that particular park system didn't take reservations, and Mr Hippo simply refuses to drive any distance at all
to arrive at a park with Mrs Hippo and the children in tow to find the dreaded "Campground Full" sign barring his way.
But anyway, Mr Hippo discovered that the park took reservations while he was searching out campgrounds in a nearby National Forest.
Mr Hippo didn't really want to stay in a National Forest campground this time of year because it is in the middle of the
Fall Hunting season, and Mr Hippo simply hates the color orange in any form, especially on articles of clothing.
Thus Mr Hippo would have not been able to take the requisite "Hike In The Woods" which is a staple of any Mr Hippo Camping Adventure.
Since Mr Hippo had never been to the park in question except on a day trip some years before,
and since the park map online didn't have a decent campground map, he thought it prudent to check out the
campground in person to pick the exact perfect spot for Mr Hippo and family to commune with nature.
This of course entailed Mr Hippo driving to the park and scoping out the available sites that would be vacant for the weekend,
a rather short list since Mrs Hippo absolutely insisted on an electric site.
Mr Hippo chose a perfect site, since nothing less would suffice, a site not too close to any neighbours,
but not too far from the bathrooms, an important consideration when one has young children in tow.
It also had to have a very large tent pad, since a good friend of
Mrs Hippo and her child would be joining us, making 2 vehicles, two tents, and 6 people.
Mr Hippo rose at his usual time Friday morning and instead of bidding his family adieu until the afternoon, drove Mrs Hippo and the children to school.
The plan was that Mr Hippo would pack the truck and drive out to the campground, where Mr Hippo would set up camp,
having everything ready when his family arrived in the evening in the car of Mrs Hippos friend, who will henceforth be referred to as Lou-Lou, the friend, not the car.
Mr Hippo left home at 12 noon, after spending the morning doing laundry, shopping for supplies and packing the truck.
Mr Hippo wasn't sure how he would get everything back home again, since the truck
was packed absolutely full of necessities, and no allowance was made for either Mrs Hippo or the children on the return trip.
Mr Hippo really wanted to get out by noon, since in the first town he would pass through 20 miles away had an Arbys restaurant,
and Mr Hippo once again wished to partake of the 5 for $6.95 deal for lunch.
Mr Hippo had the same deal on the way home from booking the campground, but he felt slightly gypped,
since he was forced to use one of his 5 picks on a soda. This time Mr Hippo had a cooler full of drinks,
so he could use the deal the way it was truly intended, to purchase 5 food items.
Mr Hippo decided that 2 cheddar melts and 3 curly fries would be just the thing to satisfy his hunger until he could
drive the remaining distance to camp, set up the two tents, organize everything, and lounge about until dinner time.
Mrt Hippos family would be dining en route, so Mr Hippo was free to indulge in one of his favorite camping meals.
Mr Hippo will share it with you:
1 can beef stew
1 can french style green beans
1 can new potatoes.
Open all 3 cans.
pour beef stew into large pot
drain water from beans and potaotes and pour into same pot.
Heat untill hot.
Pour in large bowl and eat untill stuffed.
For a real gourmet touch, one can have a crusty bun on the side,
however, Mr Hippo was saving his crusty buns for the following nights meal.
Once dinner was over and the one pot washed,
(Mr Hippo always uses paper plates and plastic cutlery when camping),
Mr Hippo settled in front of the fire to await his family.
Mr Hippo wasn't sure if he had mentioned to Mrs Hippo that the park gate is locked promptly at 8 pm,
but he didn't think it would matter, since by his reckoning, they would arrive by 7 at the absolute latest.
When 7 had come and gone and 7:30 was looming dead ahead, Mr Hippo thought that perhaps he would call
Mrs Hippo on the cell phone Mrs Hippo had left for him so that she could call and appraise Mr Hippo of their progress.
But, Mr Hippos first foray into 21st century telecommunications technology was doomed to abject failure.
There were ZERO bars, and thus Mr Hippo could neither make nor receive phone calls.
As 8 o'click loomed closer and closer, Mr Hippo dug through his wallet and found on a scrap of paper the
phone number and card number for a calling card that had long since disintegrated.
After banging the cell phone keys for a good 10 minutes, Mr Hippo was able to find the phone listings and the phone number of Lou Lou's cell phone.
Mr Hippo called, and got Lou Lou's voice mail instead. Mr Hippo later found out that at the exact time he had called lou lou,
Mrs hippo was trying to call him, and had in fact ignored the incoming call in her doomed attempt to reach Mr Hippo.
After finding out from the ranger the exact location of the gate to be locked, so as not to be accidentally
locked out himself, Mrt Hippo headed out to wait for his family and guide them to the campsite.
Mr Hippo entertained the possibility that his family had come into the campground just as Mr Hippo left, and being on a loop,
they would never have seen each other, so he returned to the campsite to wait untill after the gate was locked,
at which point he would have set his lonely vigil inside the camp gate, for as long as it would take.
However, it didn't come to that, for as Mr Hippo was driving the campground loop
back to the campsite, he heard cries of "there he is" and "daddy daddy"
Mr Hippo parked the truck and saw his eldest came running down the campground road.
But instead of being greeted by "daddy, I missed you" he heard the words "daddy, mommy fell and twisted her ankle".
October doesn't agree with Mrs Hippo, ever since she fell on a flat, level stretch of trail coming down off of a
mountain hike 3 years ago, and had to be carried the rest of the way off the mountain on a litter,
and spend a week on crutches after her ankle swelled up as big as a grapefruit.
The swelling wasn't there, but the pain was, but if there was a positive side,
then it was that Mrs Hippo wouldn't fall in the middle of "The Hike in the Woods",
since "The Hike to the Bathroom" would now be adventure enough.
On the way back from the bathroom the first time, since the shortest route between the campsite
and the bathroom was through the woods, Mr Hippo was thoughfully lighting the way with his flashlight,
and pointing out various tree roots and other obstacles.
At one point, Mt Hippo, in a joking mood said "look out, here's a flat level spot", and he narrowly
missed being whacked in the back of the head by Mrs Hippo,
on account of his being just out of reach, and Mrs Hippo being unable to run.
The night was glorious, the fire was roaring, the moon almost full, and everyone sat around the campfire drinking their favorite drinks and nibbling their favorite snacks.
To Be Continued.....
Another Mr Hippo Dilemma
Mr Hippo has another serious dilemma and he invites feedback from anyone reading this.
Mr Hippo uses firefox as his web browser, and has accidentally set the font size for yahoo groups at enormous.
All the other web pages he views are at a regular size font.
Mr Hippo is simply at a loss as to how he can restore the groups webpages to a normal size font again.
All constructive feedback will be gratefully appreciated.
Mr Hippo uses firefox as his web browser, and has accidentally set the font size for yahoo groups at enormous.
All the other web pages he views are at a regular size font.
Mr Hippo is simply at a loss as to how he can restore the groups webpages to a normal size font again.
All constructive feedback will be gratefully appreciated.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
