Mr Hippo is happy to report that he is spending the day attending to a long neglected task, to wit: patching the dozen or so size 34 jeans that he kept with hope against hope that he would someday once again be able to fit in.
Mr Hippo must confess that while in many ways he is totally unique and exceptional, in one regard he shares a trait with the common herd, namely the gradual increase in weight and girth over time.
Mr Hippo is a little embarrassed to admit that due to a lack of diligence on his part, he gradually increased his weight from his early 20's from 170 pounds (30 inch waist) to a shockingly unheard of weight of 230 pounds, and that his 36 inch wast jeans were even starting to get a bit snug around the middle.
This made for one very unhappy hippo, since instead of a slim trim fit hippo he was rapidly turning into what would have been in in is younger days an object of derision and contempt, a fat, lazy middle aged slob.
Mr Hippo was offered an excellent opportunity to lose a considerable amount of weight in his early 40's when he dropped 30 pounds from the then unbelievable weight of 210 pounds to a very reasonable 180.
However, Mr Hippo never wishes to be forced to use that weight loss plan again, so he needed some other strategy.
Mr Hippos weight loss dream came true when in May he found employment at a second shift position. This allowed the implementation of the only two weight loss factors that really work, namely, getting more exercise AND eating less.
Prior to his starting work, Mr Hippo's evening activities, in true Hippo fashion consisted of grazing from the fridge and cupboards while watching Tee Vee or playing on the computer.
Mr Hippos new job took care of his eating habits, and since his new job was moderately physical, it provided the needed stimulus to boost his metabolism and burn off the pounds.
Mr Hippo is currently sitting at 10 pounds higher than the weight he swore he would never be, and while somewhat satisfied, realizes that there is still room for improvement.
However, that brings us to Mr Hippo's current dilemma, namely patching all those jeans that he kept hoping against hop that he would some day fit into.
While it is true that Mr Hippo can and does buy new jeans, he likes to wear them until they are literally rags falling off of him. It harkens back to his younger days when ripped, faded and patched jeans were all the rage.
Mr Hippo has never been one to discard a fad just because it has gone out of styles, so he still wears his jeans the way he always has liked them, shall he say well broken in.
Mr Hippo hopes that his continued weight loss program will soon render all his newly revised 34 jeans too big, but then he WILL have to buy new ones because all of his 32's have long since been disposed of.
And those now too big 36's? Well, Mr Hippo is above all else a sensible practical hippo, so those have been relegated to a storage tub in the garage, in the extremely remote chance that Mr Hippo falls back into his bad old ways of eating and exercising.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Mr Hippo even treats Mr Dobson with respect
--- In the_free_and_the_brave@yahoogroups.com, Dann Dobson
wrote:
>
> I believe that there was a discussion awhile back about changing settings,
> so members could not join with anonymous IP's.
>
> It appears that Mr. Hippo has rejoined us, once again with an anonymous IP.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It is with the greatest of regret that Mr Hippo must inform Mr Dobson that once
a groups settings have been changed to allow people to hide their IP and e-mail
addresses, the change cannot be undone.
Mr Hippo fails to see what harm there is in hiding an IP and e-mail address.
Mr Hippo suspects that Mr Dobson might wish to gather such information for less
than honourable purposes.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> In the past Mr. Hippo has been moderately amusing, however his alter-egos
> have been anything, but charming or amusing. I hope that "Nastrander" or
> "freedom_web" have not been permitted to re-join us.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mr Hippo is saddened to hear that his offerings have only been received as
moderately amusing. Mr Hippo strives to make every single post highly amusing,
in fact, Mr Hippo can hear Mrs Hippo LOLing out loud reading his recent blog
post about santa claus even as he types this.
On further reflection, it would appear the fault lies entirely with Mr Dobson
and his apparent lack of any sense of humor.
Mr Hippo expresses his condolances to Mr Dobson on his dour, humorless
personality.
Regards,
Mr Hippo
wrote:
>
> I believe that there was a discussion awhile back about changing settings,
> so members could not join with anonymous IP's.
>
> It appears that Mr. Hippo has rejoined us, once again with an anonymous IP.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It is with the greatest of regret that Mr Hippo must inform Mr Dobson that once
a groups settings have been changed to allow people to hide their IP and e-mail
addresses, the change cannot be undone.
Mr Hippo fails to see what harm there is in hiding an IP and e-mail address.
Mr Hippo suspects that Mr Dobson might wish to gather such information for less
than honourable purposes.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> In the past Mr. Hippo has been moderately amusing, however his alter-egos
> have been anything, but charming or amusing. I hope that "Nastrander" or
> "freedom_web" have not been permitted to re-join us.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mr Hippo is saddened to hear that his offerings have only been received as
moderately amusing. Mr Hippo strives to make every single post highly amusing,
in fact, Mr Hippo can hear Mrs Hippo LOLing out loud reading his recent blog
post about santa claus even as he types this.
On further reflection, it would appear the fault lies entirely with Mr Dobson
and his apparent lack of any sense of humor.
Mr Hippo expresses his condolances to Mr Dobson on his dour, humorless
personality.
Regards,
Mr Hippo
Mr Hippo Deserves an Apology
Mr Hippo has decided to share a series of abusive posts directed at Mr Hippo
from the kind loving Ms Modrepub in TFATB:
-------------------------------------------
OMG, get the shovel to pick up the shit. What in God's name are you doing here?
Noah must be back on the morphine. Thought you were content being in your Yahoo
third rated group for the "sped" category. You, or your alter ego have not acted
like a gentleman so how in the world would you be capable of recognizing the
traits credited to Noah? I swear to God, Loki, every time you claim that you
have seen the error of your ways, in the dodgy way that you do it, you get back
in here and become a menace. You swore that you had no intention of returning
back here and here you are again. I knew there was a reason I didn't sleep well
last night.
-------------------------------------------
You've returned to drive me over the edge. What can I expect next? Mark Martin
returns as Mr. Crocodile?
-------------------------------------------
He is doing it again, sick bastard picking on group members. He's just hiding
his sinister attitude behind sophisticated pretty word speak.
< Mr Hippo can hear Mrs Hippo LOLing out loud reading his recent blog post about
santa claus even as he types this.>
Does Mrs. Nas know that you refer to her as Mrs. Hippo?
------------------------------------------
Noah, put down the crack pipe. What are you thanking him for?
-----------------------------------------
IT NEVER HAPPENS!!
--- In the_free_and_the_brave@yahoogroups.com, "libatarianridgerunner"
wrote:
>
> I will expect that Mr. Hippo and Mr. dobson will get along despite their past
history. We are all adults. I expect those in this group to act as such.
------------------------------------------
Yeah, *sniff* okay, See, I knew you were up to something, and don't try pulling
that innocent stuff either.
------------------------------------------
I forgot to mention not using the victim stuff and you are also misquoting me. I
thought, you and Mark were happy together. You know, your pig mate that you seem
to allow to act as one especially towards women. Your serve, pal.
-----------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
In response to all this abuse, Mr Hippo felt that he had no choice but to
resign:
It is becoming clear to Mr Hippo that Ms Repub was not sincere in her stated
desire to see Mr Hippo return to this group.
Not wishing to stay where he is not wanted, Mr Hippo will take his leave at
once.
If at such time the moderators change their mind and wish to express a genuine
desire to have Mr Hippo return as a member, they know where to find him.
Regards,
Mr Hippo
from the kind loving Ms Modrepub in TFATB:
-------------------------------------------
OMG, get the shovel to pick up the shit. What in God's name are you doing here?
Noah must be back on the morphine. Thought you were content being in your Yahoo
third rated group for the "sped" category. You, or your alter ego have not acted
like a gentleman so how in the world would you be capable of recognizing the
traits credited to Noah? I swear to God, Loki, every time you claim that you
have seen the error of your ways, in the dodgy way that you do it, you get back
in here and become a menace. You swore that you had no intention of returning
back here and here you are again. I knew there was a reason I didn't sleep well
last night.
-------------------------------------------
You've returned to drive me over the edge. What can I expect next? Mark Martin
returns as Mr. Crocodile?
-------------------------------------------
He is doing it again, sick bastard picking on group members. He's just hiding
his sinister attitude behind sophisticated pretty word speak.
< Mr Hippo can hear Mrs Hippo LOLing out loud reading his recent blog post about
santa claus even as he types this.>
Does Mrs. Nas know that you refer to her as Mrs. Hippo?
------------------------------------------
Noah, put down the crack pipe. What are you thanking him for?
-----------------------------------------
IT NEVER HAPPENS!!
--- In the_free_and_the_brave@yahoogroups.com, "libatarianridgerunner"
>
> I will expect that Mr. Hippo and Mr. dobson will get along despite their past
history. We are all adults. I expect those in this group to act as such.
------------------------------------------
Yeah, *sniff* okay, See, I knew you were up to something, and don't try pulling
that innocent stuff either.
------------------------------------------
I forgot to mention not using the victim stuff and you are also misquoting me. I
thought, you and Mark were happy together. You know, your pig mate that you seem
to allow to act as one especially towards women. Your serve, pal.
-----------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
In response to all this abuse, Mr Hippo felt that he had no choice but to
resign:
It is becoming clear to Mr Hippo that Ms Repub was not sincere in her stated
desire to see Mr Hippo return to this group.
Not wishing to stay where he is not wanted, Mr Hippo will take his leave at
once.
If at such time the moderators change their mind and wish to express a genuine
desire to have Mr Hippo return as a member, they know where to find him.
Regards,
Mr Hippo
Monday, November 30, 2009
Santa Claus sighted at Big Lots
Mr Hippo and his family were visiting one of their favorite stores yesterday for ornaments for their Yuletide tree, when who did Mr Hippo see but the jolly old fat man himself, shopping with his wife. He was wearing street clothes, but his full head of snow white hair and magnificant white beard gave him away instantly.
Mr Hippo leaned over to his young daughters and whispered.... "Look, that might be Santa" Mr Clause saw us and heard us and just gave a smile and said, you never know, but I hope you're being good.
With a wave and a nod The Hippo family went on their way. The girls were suitably impressed and discussed at length if that was in fact the real Santa. They decided that it just might be.
After Big Lots, The Hippo Clan made their way to Wal Mart, where his daughters sat in the lap of a cheesy fake Santa and had their pictures taken. The nice thing about walmart is that in the true spirit of the season, wal mart takes the pictures for free instead of exorbitant price gouging that so many other establishments charge for the honour of sitting in the lap of some old guy in an ill-fitting red suit and even worse fitting fake beard.
Mr Hippo
Mr Hippo leaned over to his young daughters and whispered.... "Look, that might be Santa" Mr Clause saw us and heard us and just gave a smile and said, you never know, but I hope you're being good.
With a wave and a nod The Hippo family went on their way. The girls were suitably impressed and discussed at length if that was in fact the real Santa. They decided that it just might be.
After Big Lots, The Hippo Clan made their way to Wal Mart, where his daughters sat in the lap of a cheesy fake Santa and had their pictures taken. The nice thing about walmart is that in the true spirit of the season, wal mart takes the pictures for free instead of exorbitant price gouging that so many other establishments charge for the honour of sitting in the lap of some old guy in an ill-fitting red suit and even worse fitting fake beard.
Mr Hippo
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Mr Hippo Goes Camping Part 2
The next morning Mr Hippo and family were roused at the crack of dawn by an incredibly noisy flock of crows, but since Mr Hippo had a full day of activities planned, it was all for the best.
Mr Hippo is at this point forced to admit that while he scoffs at Mrs Hippos insistence on getting an electric site, he must admit that he enjoys not having to build a fire or messing with the Coleman stove before he is able to put the kettle on to boil water for his first cup of coffee of the day
After 3 coffees, the first order of business was to drive into town to get Mrs Hippo an ankle brace, and buy all the goodies that Mr Hippo had neglected to pack.
The nearest town of any size was only 5 miles away, and it boasted that marvel of modern civilization, a Super Wal-Mart,
where the Hippo family was able to purchase everything needed to make the Camping Trip a complete success.
After returning to camp, Mr Hippo suggested that a picnic lunch at the top of the mountain would be a fine thing, and Mrs Hippo agreed,
since the mountain Mr Hippo had in mind had a road all the way to the top, which is the only way Mrs Hippo
goes to the top of any mountain now, on account of her previous experience.
An excellent lunch was enjoyed by all.
Next on the schedule was a relaxing paddle in the lake. Mr and Mr Hippo rented a canoe, while Lou Lou got a paddle boat for her and the 3 kids.
That lasted for about 20 minutes until the whining from the paddle boat made a course change back to the dock a necessity.
Mr Hippo also dropped Mrs Hippo at the dock, and his children joined him the canoe. After giving paddling lessons to his oldest daughter, they set off,
until after 10 minutes his youngest claimed that she was bored, and once again landfall was made.
Talking about paddling lessons reminds Mr Hippo of an amusing incident that occurred some years ago while at the beach,
and since Mr Hippo never misses an opportunity to diverge from his original train of thought, he will share it with you.
Mr Hippo thought it would be a simply marvelous idea to ride the wave in a large rubber raft,
the kind that is 10 feet long and can hold 4 people, assuming two of the people weigh less than 50 pounds pounds each.
Mr Hippo dragged the boat out a good ways and urged Mrs Hippo to get in, assuring her that he would climb in right after.
Well as soon as Mrs Hippo got into the raft, it started to drift out to sea, on account of the wind blowing away from the shore.
Mr Hippo urged Mrs Hippo to use the paddle to bring herself back towards him. Mrs Hippo tried, but was completely unsuccessful.
Mr Hippo, partly out of annoyance, and partly out of concern that Mrs Hippo would be blown out to sea and lost for ever, yelled out
"WHAT DO YOU NEED? PADDLING LESSONS?
That did not improve Mrs Hippos disposition in the slightest, and Mr Hippo was finally forced to swim out to the raft
and drag it back into shallow water, where Mrs Hippo disembarked the raft, vowing never to use one again.
Mr Hippo grumbled something about incompetence, and climbed into the raft. He put the paddle into the water and gave a mighty stroke,
at which point the raft did a complete 360 degree turn, and Mr Hippo realized, somewhat sheepishly, that you simply can't paddle a rubber raft.
Thus Mr Hippo's question entered forever the Hippo Family Colloquialisms, asked whenever someone is unable to do something that to an observer seems rather simple.
So for example, if Mrs Hippo was having trouble parallel parking, Mr Hippo might enquire, "What do you need? Parallel parking lessons?, or if Mr Hippo had been observed trying to use Mrs Hippos cell phone the night before might have been asked, what do you need? Cell phone lessons?.
This question is generally followed by smiles and laughter by all concerned, but not always.
But Mr Hippo has digressed long enough.
Mr Hippo set off in the canoe again, with just his eldest this time, in the bow, paddling like a natural. They headed out to the middle of the lake where
Mr Hippo spied the dam at the top end of of the lake, and suggested they paddle to it. His daughter declined and they made landfall for the 3rd and last time.
When the Hippo Family arrived back at the camp, the kids were settled in the tents for their quiet time, namely the children lay down so the parents could have some quiet, Mr Hippo declared it was time for his "Hike In The Woods"
There was a trail on the park map called "Rocks Trail". Mr Hippo has always been a big fan of rocks, and figuring the people that named the trail wouldn't lie,
and it since it seemed to end right at the lake, he decided that would be just the Thing To Do.
After his children declined his offer to join him, Mr Hippo decided to strike out alone, but not before packing some drinks and trail mix.
Mr Hippo decided that based on the distance, terrain and temperature, the best mix for this trail would be a baggie full of Doritos and a handful of snickers mini bars.
Mr Hippo marked his route on a spare map in red ink and advised Mr Hippo that he would be back by 4:30 at the latest,
but if for some reason he wasn't back by 5 to be sure to put his Italian sausages on to boil for dinner.
Mr Hippo likes to boil them to ensure they are fully cooked, and then puts them on the grill for a few minutes to get that genuine bbq flavour
Almost as soon as Mr Hippo started down the trail, his spirit soared, because there, right at the side of the trail he saw, "The Warning Sign"
The warning sign said that large rocks, cliffs, and deep water awaited anyone the headed down the trail, and that serious injury and death might result for anyone foolish enough to continue.
Mr Hippo is never one to pass up on the possibility of serious injury or death, so off he went. He was even happier when he realized that he had started his trek at 3:15,
almost the exact time he would start his drive to work if it was a normal Saturday, and he was not on a Grand Camping Adventure.
After walking for half an hour or so (it was only 1.3 miles one way) Mr Hippo came to another sign with that that same warning.
Since the trail seemed to end, and he could look right down at the lake, Mr Hippo assumed he had come to the place where serious injury and death awaited him.
Mr Hippo must confess that he wasn't overly impressed. There was a fairly gentle slope to the lake with several not too large rocks forming rather tiny cliffs.
He walked down the slope, found a mid sized rock where he could dangle his feet without touching the ground and proceeded to drink his soda and eat his trail mix.
In such a quiet peaceful place, Mr Hippo would like to report that he contemplated the Big Picture, the meaning of life and his place in it, but alas, that did not happen.
What Mr Hippo did think about was writing this blog post, making sure to include all the important bits, and chuckling over his idea of trail mix.
After 20 minutes or so, having eaten all his snacks, and having had enough of flirting with serious injury or death, Mr Hippo got up and headed back up the slope.
At the top, he looked to his right, past the warning sign, and saw that he, Mr Hippo, had been mistaken. This was NOT the end of the trail
There clearly visible, was another trail marker, and Mr Hippo realized he might not yet have actually reached the place where serious injury and death were a possibility.
He walked on another 50 feet or so, and saw the trail go straight down the side of a cliff.
At this point, Mr Hippo realized that serious injury and death might occur if one was under the age of 5 or attempted to
negotiate the cliff in a wheel chair, but it was better than nothing, so he climbed the 15 feet straight down to the level of the lake.
There, the rocks and cliffs were marginally bigger, and Mr Hippo enjoyed the view for a bit,
but his trail mix was all gone, and the thought of getting his sausages into a pot in a timely manner dominated his thoughts,
so Mr Hippo scrambled back up the cliff and made his way back along the trail to camp.
When he arrived back at the campsite, no one was in sight, so assuming they were all napping,
he yelled out, get up you lazy bums, but no one was there, they had all gone to the bathroom.
When they returned, Mrs Hippo suggested that perhaps Mr Hippo had better get his sausages in the pot, so they could all eat at the same time.
It was then that Mr Hippo realized a horrible truth.
While he remembered that it was true that he had looked at his bag of onions in the fridge and reminded himself that
he must pack them in the food container, it was also true that he could NOT remember actually packing the onions in the food container,
and that he, Mr Hippo, would have to eat his Italian sausages NOT smothered in lightly sauteed onions.
It was a thought the Mr Hippo could hardly bear. However he was able to console himself by realizing that since he wouldn't be filling up on
lightly sauteed onion, he might actually be able to eat 3 sausages on their crusty buns for a change.
Mr Hippo is forced to confess, he was only able to eat 2 sausages on their crusty buns, he ate the 3rd one by stabbing it with his fork and eating it that way.
To Be Continued...
Mr Hippo is at this point forced to admit that while he scoffs at Mrs Hippos insistence on getting an electric site, he must admit that he enjoys not having to build a fire or messing with the Coleman stove before he is able to put the kettle on to boil water for his first cup of coffee of the day
After 3 coffees, the first order of business was to drive into town to get Mrs Hippo an ankle brace, and buy all the goodies that Mr Hippo had neglected to pack.
The nearest town of any size was only 5 miles away, and it boasted that marvel of modern civilization, a Super Wal-Mart,
where the Hippo family was able to purchase everything needed to make the Camping Trip a complete success.
After returning to camp, Mr Hippo suggested that a picnic lunch at the top of the mountain would be a fine thing, and Mrs Hippo agreed,
since the mountain Mr Hippo had in mind had a road all the way to the top, which is the only way Mrs Hippo
goes to the top of any mountain now, on account of her previous experience.
An excellent lunch was enjoyed by all.
Next on the schedule was a relaxing paddle in the lake. Mr and Mr Hippo rented a canoe, while Lou Lou got a paddle boat for her and the 3 kids.
That lasted for about 20 minutes until the whining from the paddle boat made a course change back to the dock a necessity.
Mr Hippo also dropped Mrs Hippo at the dock, and his children joined him the canoe. After giving paddling lessons to his oldest daughter, they set off,
until after 10 minutes his youngest claimed that she was bored, and once again landfall was made.
Talking about paddling lessons reminds Mr Hippo of an amusing incident that occurred some years ago while at the beach,
and since Mr Hippo never misses an opportunity to diverge from his original train of thought, he will share it with you.
Mr Hippo thought it would be a simply marvelous idea to ride the wave in a large rubber raft,
the kind that is 10 feet long and can hold 4 people, assuming two of the people weigh less than 50 pounds pounds each.
Mr Hippo dragged the boat out a good ways and urged Mrs Hippo to get in, assuring her that he would climb in right after.
Well as soon as Mrs Hippo got into the raft, it started to drift out to sea, on account of the wind blowing away from the shore.
Mr Hippo urged Mrs Hippo to use the paddle to bring herself back towards him. Mrs Hippo tried, but was completely unsuccessful.
Mr Hippo, partly out of annoyance, and partly out of concern that Mrs Hippo would be blown out to sea and lost for ever, yelled out
"WHAT DO YOU NEED? PADDLING LESSONS?
That did not improve Mrs Hippos disposition in the slightest, and Mr Hippo was finally forced to swim out to the raft
and drag it back into shallow water, where Mrs Hippo disembarked the raft, vowing never to use one again.
Mr Hippo grumbled something about incompetence, and climbed into the raft. He put the paddle into the water and gave a mighty stroke,
at which point the raft did a complete 360 degree turn, and Mr Hippo realized, somewhat sheepishly, that you simply can't paddle a rubber raft.
Thus Mr Hippo's question entered forever the Hippo Family Colloquialisms, asked whenever someone is unable to do something that to an observer seems rather simple.
So for example, if Mrs Hippo was having trouble parallel parking, Mr Hippo might enquire, "What do you need? Parallel parking lessons?, or if Mr Hippo had been observed trying to use Mrs Hippos cell phone the night before might have been asked, what do you need? Cell phone lessons?.
This question is generally followed by smiles and laughter by all concerned, but not always.
But Mr Hippo has digressed long enough.
Mr Hippo set off in the canoe again, with just his eldest this time, in the bow, paddling like a natural. They headed out to the middle of the lake where
Mr Hippo spied the dam at the top end of of the lake, and suggested they paddle to it. His daughter declined and they made landfall for the 3rd and last time.
When the Hippo Family arrived back at the camp, the kids were settled in the tents for their quiet time, namely the children lay down so the parents could have some quiet, Mr Hippo declared it was time for his "Hike In The Woods"
There was a trail on the park map called "Rocks Trail". Mr Hippo has always been a big fan of rocks, and figuring the people that named the trail wouldn't lie,
and it since it seemed to end right at the lake, he decided that would be just the Thing To Do.
After his children declined his offer to join him, Mr Hippo decided to strike out alone, but not before packing some drinks and trail mix.
Mr Hippo decided that based on the distance, terrain and temperature, the best mix for this trail would be a baggie full of Doritos and a handful of snickers mini bars.
Mr Hippo marked his route on a spare map in red ink and advised Mr Hippo that he would be back by 4:30 at the latest,
but if for some reason he wasn't back by 5 to be sure to put his Italian sausages on to boil for dinner.
Mr Hippo likes to boil them to ensure they are fully cooked, and then puts them on the grill for a few minutes to get that genuine bbq flavour
Almost as soon as Mr Hippo started down the trail, his spirit soared, because there, right at the side of the trail he saw, "The Warning Sign"
The warning sign said that large rocks, cliffs, and deep water awaited anyone the headed down the trail, and that serious injury and death might result for anyone foolish enough to continue.
Mr Hippo is never one to pass up on the possibility of serious injury or death, so off he went. He was even happier when he realized that he had started his trek at 3:15,
almost the exact time he would start his drive to work if it was a normal Saturday, and he was not on a Grand Camping Adventure.
After walking for half an hour or so (it was only 1.3 miles one way) Mr Hippo came to another sign with that that same warning.
Since the trail seemed to end, and he could look right down at the lake, Mr Hippo assumed he had come to the place where serious injury and death awaited him.
Mr Hippo must confess that he wasn't overly impressed. There was a fairly gentle slope to the lake with several not too large rocks forming rather tiny cliffs.
He walked down the slope, found a mid sized rock where he could dangle his feet without touching the ground and proceeded to drink his soda and eat his trail mix.
In such a quiet peaceful place, Mr Hippo would like to report that he contemplated the Big Picture, the meaning of life and his place in it, but alas, that did not happen.
What Mr Hippo did think about was writing this blog post, making sure to include all the important bits, and chuckling over his idea of trail mix.
After 20 minutes or so, having eaten all his snacks, and having had enough of flirting with serious injury or death, Mr Hippo got up and headed back up the slope.
At the top, he looked to his right, past the warning sign, and saw that he, Mr Hippo, had been mistaken. This was NOT the end of the trail
There clearly visible, was another trail marker, and Mr Hippo realized he might not yet have actually reached the place where serious injury and death were a possibility.
He walked on another 50 feet or so, and saw the trail go straight down the side of a cliff.
At this point, Mr Hippo realized that serious injury and death might occur if one was under the age of 5 or attempted to
negotiate the cliff in a wheel chair, but it was better than nothing, so he climbed the 15 feet straight down to the level of the lake.
There, the rocks and cliffs were marginally bigger, and Mr Hippo enjoyed the view for a bit,
but his trail mix was all gone, and the thought of getting his sausages into a pot in a timely manner dominated his thoughts,
so Mr Hippo scrambled back up the cliff and made his way back along the trail to camp.
When he arrived back at the campsite, no one was in sight, so assuming they were all napping,
he yelled out, get up you lazy bums, but no one was there, they had all gone to the bathroom.
When they returned, Mrs Hippo suggested that perhaps Mr Hippo had better get his sausages in the pot, so they could all eat at the same time.
It was then that Mr Hippo realized a horrible truth.
While he remembered that it was true that he had looked at his bag of onions in the fridge and reminded himself that
he must pack them in the food container, it was also true that he could NOT remember actually packing the onions in the food container,
and that he, Mr Hippo, would have to eat his Italian sausages NOT smothered in lightly sauteed onions.
It was a thought the Mr Hippo could hardly bear. However he was able to console himself by realizing that since he wouldn't be filling up on
lightly sauteed onion, he might actually be able to eat 3 sausages on their crusty buns for a change.
Mr Hippo is forced to confess, he was only able to eat 2 sausages on their crusty buns, he ate the 3rd one by stabbing it with his fork and eating it that way.
To Be Continued...
Mr Hippo Goes Camping Part 1
Mr Hippos is pleased to report that he has just returned from a well deserved,
2 night camping trip at a wonderful park located a short 60 miles from Casa Del Hippo.
This is the first time Mr Hippo has camped there, because prior to this year,
that particular park system didn't take reservations, and Mr Hippo simply refuses to drive any distance at all
to arrive at a park with Mrs Hippo and the children in tow to find the dreaded "Campground Full" sign barring his way.
But anyway, Mr Hippo discovered that the park took reservations while he was searching out campgrounds in a nearby National Forest.
Mr Hippo didn't really want to stay in a National Forest campground this time of year because it is in the middle of the
Fall Hunting season, and Mr Hippo simply hates the color orange in any form, especially on articles of clothing.
Thus Mr Hippo would have not been able to take the requisite "Hike In The Woods" which is a staple of any Mr Hippo Camping Adventure.
Since Mr Hippo had never been to the park in question except on a day trip some years before,
and since the park map online didn't have a decent campground map, he thought it prudent to check out the
campground in person to pick the exact perfect spot for Mr Hippo and family to commune with nature.
This of course entailed Mr Hippo driving to the park and scoping out the available sites that would be vacant for the weekend,
a rather short list since Mrs Hippo absolutely insisted on an electric site.
Mr Hippo chose a perfect site, since nothing less would suffice, a site not too close to any neighbours,
but not too far from the bathrooms, an important consideration when one has young children in tow.
It also had to have a very large tent pad, since a good friend of
Mrs Hippo and her child would be joining us, making 2 vehicles, two tents, and 6 people.
Mr Hippo rose at his usual time Friday morning and instead of bidding his family adieu until the afternoon, drove Mrs Hippo and the children to school.
The plan was that Mr Hippo would pack the truck and drive out to the campground, where Mr Hippo would set up camp,
having everything ready when his family arrived in the evening in the car of Mrs Hippos friend, who will henceforth be referred to as Lou-Lou, the friend, not the car.
Mr Hippo left home at 12 noon, after spending the morning doing laundry, shopping for supplies and packing the truck.
Mr Hippo wasn't sure how he would get everything back home again, since the truck
was packed absolutely full of necessities, and no allowance was made for either Mrs Hippo or the children on the return trip.
Mr Hippo really wanted to get out by noon, since in the first town he would pass through 20 miles away had an Arbys restaurant,
and Mr Hippo once again wished to partake of the 5 for $6.95 deal for lunch.
Mr Hippo had the same deal on the way home from booking the campground, but he felt slightly gypped,
since he was forced to use one of his 5 picks on a soda. This time Mr Hippo had a cooler full of drinks,
so he could use the deal the way it was truly intended, to purchase 5 food items.
Mr Hippo decided that 2 cheddar melts and 3 curly fries would be just the thing to satisfy his hunger until he could
drive the remaining distance to camp, set up the two tents, organize everything, and lounge about until dinner time.
Mrt Hippos family would be dining en route, so Mr Hippo was free to indulge in one of his favorite camping meals.
Mr Hippo will share it with you:
1 can beef stew
1 can french style green beans
1 can new potatoes.
Open all 3 cans.
pour beef stew into large pot
drain water from beans and potaotes and pour into same pot.
Heat untill hot.
Pour in large bowl and eat untill stuffed.
For a real gourmet touch, one can have a crusty bun on the side,
however, Mr Hippo was saving his crusty buns for the following nights meal.
Once dinner was over and the one pot washed,
(Mr Hippo always uses paper plates and plastic cutlery when camping),
Mr Hippo settled in front of the fire to await his family.
Mr Hippo wasn't sure if he had mentioned to Mrs Hippo that the park gate is locked promptly at 8 pm,
but he didn't think it would matter, since by his reckoning, they would arrive by 7 at the absolute latest.
When 7 had come and gone and 7:30 was looming dead ahead, Mr Hippo thought that perhaps he would call
Mrs Hippo on the cell phone Mrs Hippo had left for him so that she could call and appraise Mr Hippo of their progress.
But, Mr Hippos first foray into 21st century telecommunications technology was doomed to abject failure.
There were ZERO bars, and thus Mr Hippo could neither make nor receive phone calls.
As 8 o'click loomed closer and closer, Mr Hippo dug through his wallet and found on a scrap of paper the
phone number and card number for a calling card that had long since disintegrated.
After banging the cell phone keys for a good 10 minutes, Mr Hippo was able to find the phone listings and the phone number of Lou Lou's cell phone.
Mr Hippo called, and got Lou Lou's voice mail instead. Mr Hippo later found out that at the exact time he had called lou lou,
Mrs hippo was trying to call him, and had in fact ignored the incoming call in her doomed attempt to reach Mr Hippo.
After finding out from the ranger the exact location of the gate to be locked, so as not to be accidentally
locked out himself, Mrt Hippo headed out to wait for his family and guide them to the campsite.
Mr Hippo entertained the possibility that his family had come into the campground just as Mr Hippo left, and being on a loop,
they would never have seen each other, so he returned to the campsite to wait untill after the gate was locked,
at which point he would have set his lonely vigil inside the camp gate, for as long as it would take.
However, it didn't come to that, for as Mr Hippo was driving the campground loop
back to the campsite, he heard cries of "there he is" and "daddy daddy"
Mr Hippo parked the truck and saw his eldest came running down the campground road.
But instead of being greeted by "daddy, I missed you" he heard the words "daddy, mommy fell and twisted her ankle".
October doesn't agree with Mrs Hippo, ever since she fell on a flat, level stretch of trail coming down off of a
mountain hike 3 years ago, and had to be carried the rest of the way off the mountain on a litter,
and spend a week on crutches after her ankle swelled up as big as a grapefruit.
The swelling wasn't there, but the pain was, but if there was a positive side,
then it was that Mrs Hippo wouldn't fall in the middle of "The Hike in the Woods",
since "The Hike to the Bathroom" would now be adventure enough.
On the way back from the bathroom the first time, since the shortest route between the campsite
and the bathroom was through the woods, Mr Hippo was thoughfully lighting the way with his flashlight,
and pointing out various tree roots and other obstacles.
At one point, Mt Hippo, in a joking mood said "look out, here's a flat level spot", and he narrowly
missed being whacked in the back of the head by Mrs Hippo,
on account of his being just out of reach, and Mrs Hippo being unable to run.
The night was glorious, the fire was roaring, the moon almost full, and everyone sat around the campfire drinking their favorite drinks and nibbling their favorite snacks.
To Be Continued.....
2 night camping trip at a wonderful park located a short 60 miles from Casa Del Hippo.
This is the first time Mr Hippo has camped there, because prior to this year,
that particular park system didn't take reservations, and Mr Hippo simply refuses to drive any distance at all
to arrive at a park with Mrs Hippo and the children in tow to find the dreaded "Campground Full" sign barring his way.
But anyway, Mr Hippo discovered that the park took reservations while he was searching out campgrounds in a nearby National Forest.
Mr Hippo didn't really want to stay in a National Forest campground this time of year because it is in the middle of the
Fall Hunting season, and Mr Hippo simply hates the color orange in any form, especially on articles of clothing.
Thus Mr Hippo would have not been able to take the requisite "Hike In The Woods" which is a staple of any Mr Hippo Camping Adventure.
Since Mr Hippo had never been to the park in question except on a day trip some years before,
and since the park map online didn't have a decent campground map, he thought it prudent to check out the
campground in person to pick the exact perfect spot for Mr Hippo and family to commune with nature.
This of course entailed Mr Hippo driving to the park and scoping out the available sites that would be vacant for the weekend,
a rather short list since Mrs Hippo absolutely insisted on an electric site.
Mr Hippo chose a perfect site, since nothing less would suffice, a site not too close to any neighbours,
but not too far from the bathrooms, an important consideration when one has young children in tow.
It also had to have a very large tent pad, since a good friend of
Mrs Hippo and her child would be joining us, making 2 vehicles, two tents, and 6 people.
Mr Hippo rose at his usual time Friday morning and instead of bidding his family adieu until the afternoon, drove Mrs Hippo and the children to school.
The plan was that Mr Hippo would pack the truck and drive out to the campground, where Mr Hippo would set up camp,
having everything ready when his family arrived in the evening in the car of Mrs Hippos friend, who will henceforth be referred to as Lou-Lou, the friend, not the car.
Mr Hippo left home at 12 noon, after spending the morning doing laundry, shopping for supplies and packing the truck.
Mr Hippo wasn't sure how he would get everything back home again, since the truck
was packed absolutely full of necessities, and no allowance was made for either Mrs Hippo or the children on the return trip.
Mr Hippo really wanted to get out by noon, since in the first town he would pass through 20 miles away had an Arbys restaurant,
and Mr Hippo once again wished to partake of the 5 for $6.95 deal for lunch.
Mr Hippo had the same deal on the way home from booking the campground, but he felt slightly gypped,
since he was forced to use one of his 5 picks on a soda. This time Mr Hippo had a cooler full of drinks,
so he could use the deal the way it was truly intended, to purchase 5 food items.
Mr Hippo decided that 2 cheddar melts and 3 curly fries would be just the thing to satisfy his hunger until he could
drive the remaining distance to camp, set up the two tents, organize everything, and lounge about until dinner time.
Mrt Hippos family would be dining en route, so Mr Hippo was free to indulge in one of his favorite camping meals.
Mr Hippo will share it with you:
1 can beef stew
1 can french style green beans
1 can new potatoes.
Open all 3 cans.
pour beef stew into large pot
drain water from beans and potaotes and pour into same pot.
Heat untill hot.
Pour in large bowl and eat untill stuffed.
For a real gourmet touch, one can have a crusty bun on the side,
however, Mr Hippo was saving his crusty buns for the following nights meal.
Once dinner was over and the one pot washed,
(Mr Hippo always uses paper plates and plastic cutlery when camping),
Mr Hippo settled in front of the fire to await his family.
Mr Hippo wasn't sure if he had mentioned to Mrs Hippo that the park gate is locked promptly at 8 pm,
but he didn't think it would matter, since by his reckoning, they would arrive by 7 at the absolute latest.
When 7 had come and gone and 7:30 was looming dead ahead, Mr Hippo thought that perhaps he would call
Mrs Hippo on the cell phone Mrs Hippo had left for him so that she could call and appraise Mr Hippo of their progress.
But, Mr Hippos first foray into 21st century telecommunications technology was doomed to abject failure.
There were ZERO bars, and thus Mr Hippo could neither make nor receive phone calls.
As 8 o'click loomed closer and closer, Mr Hippo dug through his wallet and found on a scrap of paper the
phone number and card number for a calling card that had long since disintegrated.
After banging the cell phone keys for a good 10 minutes, Mr Hippo was able to find the phone listings and the phone number of Lou Lou's cell phone.
Mr Hippo called, and got Lou Lou's voice mail instead. Mr Hippo later found out that at the exact time he had called lou lou,
Mrs hippo was trying to call him, and had in fact ignored the incoming call in her doomed attempt to reach Mr Hippo.
After finding out from the ranger the exact location of the gate to be locked, so as not to be accidentally
locked out himself, Mrt Hippo headed out to wait for his family and guide them to the campsite.
Mr Hippo entertained the possibility that his family had come into the campground just as Mr Hippo left, and being on a loop,
they would never have seen each other, so he returned to the campsite to wait untill after the gate was locked,
at which point he would have set his lonely vigil inside the camp gate, for as long as it would take.
However, it didn't come to that, for as Mr Hippo was driving the campground loop
back to the campsite, he heard cries of "there he is" and "daddy daddy"
Mr Hippo parked the truck and saw his eldest came running down the campground road.
But instead of being greeted by "daddy, I missed you" he heard the words "daddy, mommy fell and twisted her ankle".
October doesn't agree with Mrs Hippo, ever since she fell on a flat, level stretch of trail coming down off of a
mountain hike 3 years ago, and had to be carried the rest of the way off the mountain on a litter,
and spend a week on crutches after her ankle swelled up as big as a grapefruit.
The swelling wasn't there, but the pain was, but if there was a positive side,
then it was that Mrs Hippo wouldn't fall in the middle of "The Hike in the Woods",
since "The Hike to the Bathroom" would now be adventure enough.
On the way back from the bathroom the first time, since the shortest route between the campsite
and the bathroom was through the woods, Mr Hippo was thoughfully lighting the way with his flashlight,
and pointing out various tree roots and other obstacles.
At one point, Mt Hippo, in a joking mood said "look out, here's a flat level spot", and he narrowly
missed being whacked in the back of the head by Mrs Hippo,
on account of his being just out of reach, and Mrs Hippo being unable to run.
The night was glorious, the fire was roaring, the moon almost full, and everyone sat around the campfire drinking their favorite drinks and nibbling their favorite snacks.
To Be Continued.....
Another Mr Hippo Dilemma
Mr Hippo has another serious dilemma and he invites feedback from anyone reading this.
Mr Hippo uses firefox as his web browser, and has accidentally set the font size for yahoo groups at enormous.
All the other web pages he views are at a regular size font.
Mr Hippo is simply at a loss as to how he can restore the groups webpages to a normal size font again.
All constructive feedback will be gratefully appreciated.
Mr Hippo uses firefox as his web browser, and has accidentally set the font size for yahoo groups at enormous.
All the other web pages he views are at a regular size font.
Mr Hippo is simply at a loss as to how he can restore the groups webpages to a normal size font again.
All constructive feedback will be gratefully appreciated.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Mr Hippo stays put
Mr Hippo wishes to thank Mr Dobson for his concern and sage advice.
And, if Mr Hippo was even remotely considering the possibility of remaining with his current employer even one day longer than absolutely necessary, he might agree with Mr Dobsons assessment and take the day position, even though only 20 hours worth of duties have so far been allocated, and the other 20 might involve distinct unpleasantness or even outright nastiness, which Mr Hippo has a penchant for avoiding at all costs.
However, there is a consideration that Mr Dobson has apparently overlooked.
While it is true that Mr Hippo is loth to abandon his ability to sleep late and soak up the rays of the fading autumn sun (at least until the day time highs fail to reach 55), there is another far more important reason for keeping the second shift position.
Mt Hippo wishes to keep his days clear in order to search for a better job. HR personal and office managers are notorious for only working first shift, and Mr Hippo simply can't recall any interview he has ever had where it didn't take place during daytime hours.
So, in conclusion, Mr Hippo once again thanks Mr Dobson for his advice, but on balance, and all things considered, second shift is the place Mr Hippo needs to be right now.
And, if Mr Hippo was even remotely considering the possibility of remaining with his current employer even one day longer than absolutely necessary, he might agree with Mr Dobsons assessment and take the day position, even though only 20 hours worth of duties have so far been allocated, and the other 20 might involve distinct unpleasantness or even outright nastiness, which Mr Hippo has a penchant for avoiding at all costs.
However, there is a consideration that Mr Dobson has apparently overlooked.
While it is true that Mr Hippo is loth to abandon his ability to sleep late and soak up the rays of the fading autumn sun (at least until the day time highs fail to reach 55), there is another far more important reason for keeping the second shift position.
Mt Hippo wishes to keep his days clear in order to search for a better job. HR personal and office managers are notorious for only working first shift, and Mr Hippo simply can't recall any interview he has ever had where it didn't take place during daytime hours.
So, in conclusion, Mr Hippo once again thanks Mr Dobson for his advice, but on balance, and all things considered, second shift is the place Mr Hippo needs to be right now.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Spiders
Mr Hippo has just come inside from rummaging through the Casa Del Hippo Annex, also referred to in the common language as the garage where he was searching high and low through the assorted treasures that constitute the Hippo Family Heirlooms for his Camping Equipment.
While searching, he discovered an amazing array of spiders inhabiting every nook and cranny.
When he picked up his Coleman Stove he saw an especially big black shiny one duck inside. Mr Hippo, who fancies himself a bit of a Arachnophile, immediately thought "Black Widow", and after making sure the spider in question was safely inside his lair and would not even consider a mad dash across the open Annex floor, did what any concerned Hippo husband and father would do.
He ran inside to the kitchen to get a transparent tupperware container to catch the spider to share with his family.
Upon returning to the annex, he oh so carefully opened the lid of the Coleman Stove and found his prey. A bit of gentle coaxing got the spider to a place where Mr Hippo could nudge the spider into the container and pop the lid on.
You can hardly imagine Mr Hippos great disappointment when he turned the tupperware container so that he could see the underside of the spider, and the tell tale red hourglass marking was not there.
Mr Hippo gave a heavy sigh and released the spider to go about his business, which due to the unsuspecting nature of spiders probably did NOT include preparing to meet his maker, because 5 seconds after giving the spider his freedom, Mr Hippo thought better of it and squished the spider flat, resulting in a rather large black spider grease spot right in the middle of the annex floor.
Mr Hippo considers, that on reflection, it is probably better that it wasn't a black widow spider, because he hates to imagine the uproar that would have occurred had Mrs Hippo and their children come home this afternoon to find a spider in a tupperware container, in the middle of the dining room table, sitting on top of a sign in bold red letters saying "Black widow spider inside, do NOT open."
While searching, he discovered an amazing array of spiders inhabiting every nook and cranny.
When he picked up his Coleman Stove he saw an especially big black shiny one duck inside. Mr Hippo, who fancies himself a bit of a Arachnophile, immediately thought "Black Widow", and after making sure the spider in question was safely inside his lair and would not even consider a mad dash across the open Annex floor, did what any concerned Hippo husband and father would do.
He ran inside to the kitchen to get a transparent tupperware container to catch the spider to share with his family.
Upon returning to the annex, he oh so carefully opened the lid of the Coleman Stove and found his prey. A bit of gentle coaxing got the spider to a place where Mr Hippo could nudge the spider into the container and pop the lid on.
You can hardly imagine Mr Hippos great disappointment when he turned the tupperware container so that he could see the underside of the spider, and the tell tale red hourglass marking was not there.
Mr Hippo gave a heavy sigh and released the spider to go about his business, which due to the unsuspecting nature of spiders probably did NOT include preparing to meet his maker, because 5 seconds after giving the spider his freedom, Mr Hippo thought better of it and squished the spider flat, resulting in a rather large black spider grease spot right in the middle of the annex floor.
Mr Hippo considers, that on reflection, it is probably better that it wasn't a black widow spider, because he hates to imagine the uproar that would have occurred had Mrs Hippo and their children come home this afternoon to find a spider in a tupperware container, in the middle of the dining room table, sitting on top of a sign in bold red letters saying "Black widow spider inside, do NOT open."
Monday, September 28, 2009
Mr Hippos Musings
1) Mr Hippo pays a compliment
While Mr Hippo was at work the other day, an African American woman with a shaved head passed by.
While Mr Hippo is a fan of neither shaved heads nor African American women, this woman struck Mr Hippo as a
person of beauty and dignity, almost as if a Nubian Princess had come to life.
The next day Mr Hippo came across her again and she said hello. Rather than mumble a hello in reply and continue on his merry way, he chose to engage the
woman. He said, "I just have to tell you, with your shaved head, you look amazing." And Mr Hippo has to admit again, with her dangling gold earrings she did look exactly like a princess.
The Nubian princess thanked me and added that she had decided to embrace the things happening in her life instead of hiding them.
She confided that she is battling breast cancer and the treatments had been making her hair fall out.
Mr Hippo asked if she had just started working there, and she replied in the negative, and that she used to have tight curls. Mr Hippo admitted that he hadn't noticed her, but then again, he usually doesn't.
Mr Hippo ended the conversation by wishing her all the best in her battle against cancer and affirming yet again the she looked beautiful, that she looked great.
When Mr Hippo related the tale to Mrs Hippo the next day, she replied that Mr Hippo had probably made her day.
Mr Hippo realizes the importance of sharing a positive word with everyone who crosses your path, and encourages the readers to do the same.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
2) Mr Hippos dilemma
Mr Hippos boss made him an offer the other day, and Mr Hippo simply cannot decide what to do.
Mr Hippo currently works second shift, 6 days a week from 4 to 11.
The work is easy, but the downside is that the time he gets to spend with his family during the week is extremely limited.
He arises at 5:45 in the morning to help get the kids ready for school, and then drops by the school on the way to
work to spend another half hour with them while Mrs Hippo prepares to head home for the day.
Mr Hippo would fortify himself with a cup of coffee, with the result being that no matter how tired he was, he simply couldn't go back to sleep after his family had left.
Recently, Mr Hippo has started forgoing the coffee, with the result being his is i na fog, but he is able to fall back into bed untill 10 o'clock or so.
Sundays are precious but they are too long in coming, and go by too fast.
So what is Mr Hippos dilemma you ask?
Mr Hippos boss has offered him the chance to work days, Monday through Friday, 8:30 to 5.
The obvious benefits to this are that Mr Hippo will have the entire weekend off to spend with his family,
and he can drive his kids to school every morning, thus allowing them to sleep in a bit later, and have a more leisurely morning routine.
The downside is that cold and flu season is fast approaching, and it seems like a week doesn't go by that one of both of Mr Hippos kids are home sick.
Mr Hippo is pretty sure all the resulting days off will not endear him to his boss.
Plus there is the consideration of the work required evenings vs days.
Mr Hippo is the first to admit he has a fairly easy routine now, and wonders if he might be required to work harder during the day.
Either way, the job pays little, with no benefits, so Mr Hippo has assured his boss that no matter what,
Mr Hippo will be jumping ship just as soon as a more suitable position for Mr Hippos talents opens up.
Mr Hippo has a couple of days to make up his mind, but he suspects he might just stay where he is.
His children are used to the routine, and even Mrs Hippo has accepted being a single parent during the evenings that Mr Hippo toils to earn his pittance.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3) Mr Hippos Favorite Time of the Year
While Mr Hippo wishes to say that Mr Hippo thinks that every single day and every single season is special,
he's always had a secret affection for this time of the year in particular.
The heat of summer is largely a thing of the past, and the cold days of winter, while looming ahead, are far enough away to not be overly concerned about.
There is a freshness in the air, and the knowledge that like life itself, it will not last forever.
This was especially true when mr Hippo lived in the far frozen north, when the number of such days could be counted on one hand.
But where Mr Hippo currently resides, one is guaranteed a couple of months of this divine weather.
The AC has been more or less permanently turned off, and the windows are open day and night to allow the maximum
amount of fresh air to permeate Casa Del Hippo, not like the spring months where the open windows allow the entry of
copious amounts of pollen, which causes Mrs Hippo to have to endure couging, wheezing, a runny nose and and causes Mr Hippo to have to endure a less than perfect disposition.
Mr Hippo opines that oak pollen is the worst, the pollen and accompanying stamen drop from
the large willow oak in his back yard can be measured in inches and covers everything in a thick yellow blanket.
However, in the fall, the sun, the breezes, even the rain arrives in perfect combination and Mr Hippo is greatly content.
In fact, if Mr Hippo didn't need to leave for work in an hour, one might find him lolling on the front porch for the rest of the afternoon.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4) A Milestone Passed
Tomorrow is Mr Hippos Birthday. Mrs Hippo and their children honored his special day on Sunday, on account of Mr Hippo having to work, and everyone agreed that just 30 minutes in the morning is simply not sufficient time to celebrate his special day.
Birthdays are always special at Casa Del Hippo, and while Mr Hippo told Mrs Hippo not to bother with decorating and such, he was secretly happy to see that Mrs Hippo ignored his request and festooned the dining room with balloons and streamers.
A pleasant day was had by all, and Mr Hippo is forced to admit that he had not 1, not 2, but 3 pieces of birthday cake.
But this birthday has a Serious Side.
This is the birthday that Mr Hippo outlives his mother.
Mr Hippos mom died just one week shy of her 54th birthday, after a long battle with colon cancer.
It was 25 years ago, but Mr Hippo still thinks about her, and misses her.
He is sad that his mom never got to see his beautiful children, and that they never were able to know her, and her kind and gentle ways.
Mr Hippo is grateful to have had not 1 but 2 wonderful parents, and can only hope to repay then by passing on to his own children what he received from them.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
While Mr Hippo was at work the other day, an African American woman with a shaved head passed by.
While Mr Hippo is a fan of neither shaved heads nor African American women, this woman struck Mr Hippo as a
person of beauty and dignity, almost as if a Nubian Princess had come to life.
The next day Mr Hippo came across her again and she said hello. Rather than mumble a hello in reply and continue on his merry way, he chose to engage the
woman. He said, "I just have to tell you, with your shaved head, you look amazing." And Mr Hippo has to admit again, with her dangling gold earrings she did look exactly like a princess.
The Nubian princess thanked me and added that she had decided to embrace the things happening in her life instead of hiding them.
She confided that she is battling breast cancer and the treatments had been making her hair fall out.
Mr Hippo asked if she had just started working there, and she replied in the negative, and that she used to have tight curls. Mr Hippo admitted that he hadn't noticed her, but then again, he usually doesn't.
Mr Hippo ended the conversation by wishing her all the best in her battle against cancer and affirming yet again the she looked beautiful, that she looked great.
When Mr Hippo related the tale to Mrs Hippo the next day, she replied that Mr Hippo had probably made her day.
Mr Hippo realizes the importance of sharing a positive word with everyone who crosses your path, and encourages the readers to do the same.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
2) Mr Hippos dilemma
Mr Hippos boss made him an offer the other day, and Mr Hippo simply cannot decide what to do.
Mr Hippo currently works second shift, 6 days a week from 4 to 11.
The work is easy, but the downside is that the time he gets to spend with his family during the week is extremely limited.
He arises at 5:45 in the morning to help get the kids ready for school, and then drops by the school on the way to
work to spend another half hour with them while Mrs Hippo prepares to head home for the day.
Mr Hippo would fortify himself with a cup of coffee, with the result being that no matter how tired he was, he simply couldn't go back to sleep after his family had left.
Recently, Mr Hippo has started forgoing the coffee, with the result being his is i na fog, but he is able to fall back into bed untill 10 o'clock or so.
Sundays are precious but they are too long in coming, and go by too fast.
So what is Mr Hippos dilemma you ask?
Mr Hippos boss has offered him the chance to work days, Monday through Friday, 8:30 to 5.
The obvious benefits to this are that Mr Hippo will have the entire weekend off to spend with his family,
and he can drive his kids to school every morning, thus allowing them to sleep in a bit later, and have a more leisurely morning routine.
The downside is that cold and flu season is fast approaching, and it seems like a week doesn't go by that one of both of Mr Hippos kids are home sick.
Mr Hippo is pretty sure all the resulting days off will not endear him to his boss.
Plus there is the consideration of the work required evenings vs days.
Mr Hippo is the first to admit he has a fairly easy routine now, and wonders if he might be required to work harder during the day.
Either way, the job pays little, with no benefits, so Mr Hippo has assured his boss that no matter what,
Mr Hippo will be jumping ship just as soon as a more suitable position for Mr Hippos talents opens up.
Mr Hippo has a couple of days to make up his mind, but he suspects he might just stay where he is.
His children are used to the routine, and even Mrs Hippo has accepted being a single parent during the evenings that Mr Hippo toils to earn his pittance.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3) Mr Hippos Favorite Time of the Year
While Mr Hippo wishes to say that Mr Hippo thinks that every single day and every single season is special,
he's always had a secret affection for this time of the year in particular.
The heat of summer is largely a thing of the past, and the cold days of winter, while looming ahead, are far enough away to not be overly concerned about.
There is a freshness in the air, and the knowledge that like life itself, it will not last forever.
This was especially true when mr Hippo lived in the far frozen north, when the number of such days could be counted on one hand.
But where Mr Hippo currently resides, one is guaranteed a couple of months of this divine weather.
The AC has been more or less permanently turned off, and the windows are open day and night to allow the maximum
amount of fresh air to permeate Casa Del Hippo, not like the spring months where the open windows allow the entry of
copious amounts of pollen, which causes Mrs Hippo to have to endure couging, wheezing, a runny nose and and causes Mr Hippo to have to endure a less than perfect disposition.
Mr Hippo opines that oak pollen is the worst, the pollen and accompanying stamen drop from
the large willow oak in his back yard can be measured in inches and covers everything in a thick yellow blanket.
However, in the fall, the sun, the breezes, even the rain arrives in perfect combination and Mr Hippo is greatly content.
In fact, if Mr Hippo didn't need to leave for work in an hour, one might find him lolling on the front porch for the rest of the afternoon.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4) A Milestone Passed
Tomorrow is Mr Hippos Birthday. Mrs Hippo and their children honored his special day on Sunday, on account of Mr Hippo having to work, and everyone agreed that just 30 minutes in the morning is simply not sufficient time to celebrate his special day.
Birthdays are always special at Casa Del Hippo, and while Mr Hippo told Mrs Hippo not to bother with decorating and such, he was secretly happy to see that Mrs Hippo ignored his request and festooned the dining room with balloons and streamers.
A pleasant day was had by all, and Mr Hippo is forced to admit that he had not 1, not 2, but 3 pieces of birthday cake.
But this birthday has a Serious Side.
This is the birthday that Mr Hippo outlives his mother.
Mr Hippos mom died just one week shy of her 54th birthday, after a long battle with colon cancer.
It was 25 years ago, but Mr Hippo still thinks about her, and misses her.
He is sad that his mom never got to see his beautiful children, and that they never were able to know her, and her kind and gentle ways.
Mr Hippo is grateful to have had not 1 but 2 wonderful parents, and can only hope to repay then by passing on to his own children what he received from them.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Important announcement
Mr Hippo wishes to thank the moderators of this group for opening it up to posting it again. He enjoys reading the posts of almost everyone in here.
At this time, Mr Hippo wishes to announce to the moderators that for as long as the group is open, and for as long Mr Hippo is allowed to remain as a member in good standing, should Mr Hippo win the grand prize in the powerball lottery, he will include the moderators, as previously stated, in his good fortune to the sum of 10,000 dollars each.
However, due to recent events in here, Mr Hippo feels that he cannot offer to give a 100,000 dollar donation to Mr dobsons favorite charity.
Mr Hippo has realized that there is something much more important he can do with that sum of money, both for Mr Dobson in particular and society in general.
Mr Hippo now proposes that should he win the powerball grand prize, he will set aside the sum of 100,000 dollars for the purpose of diagnosing and treating Mr Dobsons mental illness.
The events of the past few days have made abundantly clear that Mr Dobson is seriously disturbed, and that it is only a matter of time before Mr Dobson becomes a danger both to himself and society in general.
If by some miracle Mr Dobson is declared cured before the 100,000 dollar total is spent, Mr Hippo will then donate the balance to the charity of Mr Dobsons choice.
Of course, Mr Hippo will insist that on successful completion of treatment, Mr Dobson be examined by an independant psychiatrist of Mr Hippos choosing, in order to verify that Mr dobson is in fact cured.
Mrt Hippo will be able to sleep much better knowing he had helped avert some terrible tragedy caused by Mr Dobsons unbalanced mental state.
Mr Hippo wishes to assure Mr dobson that there is no shame in mental illness, and that he holds no lesser opinion of Mr Dobson because of it. Mr Hippo only wants Mr dobson to be happy, healthy, and whole.
At this time, Mr Hippo wishes to announce to the moderators that for as long as the group is open, and for as long Mr Hippo is allowed to remain as a member in good standing, should Mr Hippo win the grand prize in the powerball lottery, he will include the moderators, as previously stated, in his good fortune to the sum of 10,000 dollars each.
However, due to recent events in here, Mr Hippo feels that he cannot offer to give a 100,000 dollar donation to Mr dobsons favorite charity.
Mr Hippo has realized that there is something much more important he can do with that sum of money, both for Mr Dobson in particular and society in general.
Mr Hippo now proposes that should he win the powerball grand prize, he will set aside the sum of 100,000 dollars for the purpose of diagnosing and treating Mr Dobsons mental illness.
The events of the past few days have made abundantly clear that Mr Dobson is seriously disturbed, and that it is only a matter of time before Mr Dobson becomes a danger both to himself and society in general.
If by some miracle Mr Dobson is declared cured before the 100,000 dollar total is spent, Mr Hippo will then donate the balance to the charity of Mr Dobsons choice.
Of course, Mr Hippo will insist that on successful completion of treatment, Mr Dobson be examined by an independant psychiatrist of Mr Hippos choosing, in order to verify that Mr dobson is in fact cured.
Mrt Hippo will be able to sleep much better knowing he had helped avert some terrible tragedy caused by Mr Dobsons unbalanced mental state.
Mr Hippo wishes to assure Mr dobson that there is no shame in mental illness, and that he holds no lesser opinion of Mr Dobson because of it. Mr Hippo only wants Mr dobson to be happy, healthy, and whole.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Mr Hippo is Set to Win Big
Mr Hippo has shared his story about how he invested a 3 cent gift in a lottery
ticket for 102 million dollars, which no one won. He then bought a ticket for
the next draw with a grand prize of 130 million, which again no one won. for
last nights draw he went into partnership with his lovely co-worker Belle to
share the grand prize of 138 million.
However Mr Hippo didn't expect to win this prize, in fact he was sure that once
again no one would win, and the pot would continue to row.
He knew this because while walking to the break room at work prior to the draw
with 3 of his coworkers, one of then saw something laying on the floor, and Mr
Hippo picked it up. It was a rolled up one dollar bill that someone had dropped.
Mr Hippo, being the completely unselfish Hippo that he is announced that he
would take the dollar bill and buy a powerball ticket for this saturdays draw
which the four of them would share. He ever wrote the word "lotto" on the back
of the ticket to ensure that the luck that flows from finding the ticket will
manifest itself in the purchase of the winning lotto ticket.
And now, the jackpot is estimated to be 160 million dollars, a particularily
auspacious number, since it is a multiple of 4 and 4 people were present when
the dollar was found.
Mr Hippo now understands the whole cosmic flow of events, starting with those 3
lucky pennies that will lead Mr Hippo and his 3 co-workers to share in the grand
prize of 160 million dollars this Saturday.
The 3 pennies represent the 3 workers with whom Mr Hippo will share the grand
prize.
3 is also the number of draws Mr Hippo was destined to lose before winning the
grand prize in the 4th draw, 3/4th of which he is giving away.
Mr Hippo is, to say the least, very excited.
ticket for 102 million dollars, which no one won. He then bought a ticket for
the next draw with a grand prize of 130 million, which again no one won. for
last nights draw he went into partnership with his lovely co-worker Belle to
share the grand prize of 138 million.
However Mr Hippo didn't expect to win this prize, in fact he was sure that once
again no one would win, and the pot would continue to row.
He knew this because while walking to the break room at work prior to the draw
with 3 of his coworkers, one of then saw something laying on the floor, and Mr
Hippo picked it up. It was a rolled up one dollar bill that someone had dropped.
Mr Hippo, being the completely unselfish Hippo that he is announced that he
would take the dollar bill and buy a powerball ticket for this saturdays draw
which the four of them would share. He ever wrote the word "lotto" on the back
of the ticket to ensure that the luck that flows from finding the ticket will
manifest itself in the purchase of the winning lotto ticket.
And now, the jackpot is estimated to be 160 million dollars, a particularily
auspacious number, since it is a multiple of 4 and 4 people were present when
the dollar was found.
Mr Hippo now understands the whole cosmic flow of events, starting with those 3
lucky pennies that will lead Mr Hippo and his 3 co-workers to share in the grand
prize of 160 million dollars this Saturday.
The 3 pennies represent the 3 workers with whom Mr Hippo will share the grand
prize.
3 is also the number of draws Mr Hippo was destined to lose before winning the
grand prize in the 4th draw, 3/4th of which he is giving away.
Mr Hippo is, to say the least, very excited.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Southern Youth
Mr Hippo had a delightful conversation of another of his co-workers last night, a not unattractive 22 year old woman whom he will henceforth refer to as Belle, in recognition of her Southern Heritage and upbringing.
Mr Hippo was lamenting the other day on what passes for southern youth in the form of man-boy, a ghetto gangsta poser, but his conversation with Belle gave him new hope.
Belle had just returned from Florida where she had attended the funeral of her beloved grandfather, a man of great honor who served with distinction under General Patton.
She shared with Mr Hippo the fact that she regretted that while in florida she had been unable to attend a concert of Lynyrd Skynyrd, one of her favorite bands, who was playing in the same city as the funeral
Since the original band had been dissolved following the tragic death of lead singer Ronnie Van Zandt in a horrible plane crash many years before Belle was even born, Mr Hippo, an ever curious Hippo asked how how she knew so much about the premier band of Southern rock.
Belle explained that her father was a big fan, and that she grew up listening to the greats of Southern rock.
No doubt she was soothed to sleep in her crib to the sweet sounds of such classics as Sweet Home Alabama and Free Bird.
Belle admitted that while she does listen to rap and dance, she has a special place in her heart for the songs of her parents generation.
Mr Hippo himself has tried to instill a similar love of Southern Rock in his own children,.For example, on the drive back from the beach with his older daughter, during a break in her endless playing of Hanna Montanna hits, Mr Hippo took the opportunity to pop a casette into the car tape player and played one of Mr Hippos favorite Lynyrd Skynyrd songs, "They call me the breeze"
Mr Hippo is pleased to relate that his daughter quite enjoyed the song.
But getting back to the conversation with Belle, Mr Hippo told her that he himself had seen the original Lynyrd skynyrd in concert with his future first ex-wife and shared the amusing anecdote that when Mr Hippo had asked her if she liked Lynyrd Skynyrd, she had replied, oh, yes, he is great.
Despite her obviously having no clue as to who or what Lynyrd Skynyrd was, Mr Hippo took her to the concert anyway, and eventually married her.
And while the marriage ended badly, he has no regrets since it resulted in the birth of his first child, a wonderful person with whom he has shared many happy times and has many happy memories.
But as usual, Mr Hippo digresses, since he wanted to share his new found hope on the state of Southern Youth.
Belle is the proper young lady, full of wit and charm. She is also a hearty eater, always bringing to work an amazing array of fresh homecooked foods for break time.
One time she heated up a bowl of what looked to be sludge, and Mr Hippo inquired as to what this might be.
She replied, it's grits silly, haven't you ever eaten any?
My Hippo replied that he hadn't, being simply unable to get past the name.
She insisted that Mr Hippo simply must try some and that she would bring him a bowl sometime.
Mr Hippo politely declined, saying that he had his own food, and that his diet regimen simply left no room for additional eating.
Besides, Mr Hippo informed her, he was quite happy with his daily double serving of Cream of Wheat, a tasty meal he has
eaten ever since he was a tiny hippo, prepared almost every single day of his childhood by his loving mother.
Mr Hippo has many fond memories of his mother, but the most touching is one from the very last days of her life.
Mr Hippo was much younger then, but still a fully grown hippo.
Mr Hippo was enduring a very stressful time in his life, and while visiting her in the hospital on what turned out to be almost the last day of her life, Mr Hippo is not afraid to admit that he broke down and started crying.
And Mr Hippos mother, lying sick in a hospital bed, knowing her end was near, nevertheless took the time to comfort her eldest son, telling him, it was ok, and that he should never be afraid to cry.
In fact, right now, Mr Hippo confesses that he must take a moment to wipe a tear away, thinking about that special moment of the demonstration of the depth of a mothers love and concern for her children.
But anyway, Mr Hippo, in his roundabout way, just wanted to say that his conversations with Belle have shown him that not all Southern Youth have succumbed to the nihilist degeneracy personified in man-boy, but that in fact a spark of grace and civilization still reside in Southern Youth, and such knowledge gives Mr Hippo some small hope for the future.
Mr Hippo was lamenting the other day on what passes for southern youth in the form of man-boy, a ghetto gangsta poser, but his conversation with Belle gave him new hope.
Belle had just returned from Florida where she had attended the funeral of her beloved grandfather, a man of great honor who served with distinction under General Patton.
She shared with Mr Hippo the fact that she regretted that while in florida she had been unable to attend a concert of Lynyrd Skynyrd, one of her favorite bands, who was playing in the same city as the funeral
Since the original band had been dissolved following the tragic death of lead singer Ronnie Van Zandt in a horrible plane crash many years before Belle was even born, Mr Hippo, an ever curious Hippo asked how how she knew so much about the premier band of Southern rock.
Belle explained that her father was a big fan, and that she grew up listening to the greats of Southern rock.
No doubt she was soothed to sleep in her crib to the sweet sounds of such classics as Sweet Home Alabama and Free Bird.
Belle admitted that while she does listen to rap and dance, she has a special place in her heart for the songs of her parents generation.
Mr Hippo himself has tried to instill a similar love of Southern Rock in his own children,.For example, on the drive back from the beach with his older daughter, during a break in her endless playing of Hanna Montanna hits, Mr Hippo took the opportunity to pop a casette into the car tape player and played one of Mr Hippos favorite Lynyrd Skynyrd songs, "They call me the breeze"
Mr Hippo is pleased to relate that his daughter quite enjoyed the song.
But getting back to the conversation with Belle, Mr Hippo told her that he himself had seen the original Lynyrd skynyrd in concert with his future first ex-wife and shared the amusing anecdote that when Mr Hippo had asked her if she liked Lynyrd Skynyrd, she had replied, oh, yes, he is great.
Despite her obviously having no clue as to who or what Lynyrd Skynyrd was, Mr Hippo took her to the concert anyway, and eventually married her.
And while the marriage ended badly, he has no regrets since it resulted in the birth of his first child, a wonderful person with whom he has shared many happy times and has many happy memories.
But as usual, Mr Hippo digresses, since he wanted to share his new found hope on the state of Southern Youth.
Belle is the proper young lady, full of wit and charm. She is also a hearty eater, always bringing to work an amazing array of fresh homecooked foods for break time.
One time she heated up a bowl of what looked to be sludge, and Mr Hippo inquired as to what this might be.
She replied, it's grits silly, haven't you ever eaten any?
My Hippo replied that he hadn't, being simply unable to get past the name.
She insisted that Mr Hippo simply must try some and that she would bring him a bowl sometime.
Mr Hippo politely declined, saying that he had his own food, and that his diet regimen simply left no room for additional eating.
Besides, Mr Hippo informed her, he was quite happy with his daily double serving of Cream of Wheat, a tasty meal he has
eaten ever since he was a tiny hippo, prepared almost every single day of his childhood by his loving mother.
Mr Hippo has many fond memories of his mother, but the most touching is one from the very last days of her life.
Mr Hippo was much younger then, but still a fully grown hippo.
Mr Hippo was enduring a very stressful time in his life, and while visiting her in the hospital on what turned out to be almost the last day of her life, Mr Hippo is not afraid to admit that he broke down and started crying.
And Mr Hippos mother, lying sick in a hospital bed, knowing her end was near, nevertheless took the time to comfort her eldest son, telling him, it was ok, and that he should never be afraid to cry.
In fact, right now, Mr Hippo confesses that he must take a moment to wipe a tear away, thinking about that special moment of the demonstration of the depth of a mothers love and concern for her children.
But anyway, Mr Hippo, in his roundabout way, just wanted to say that his conversations with Belle have shown him that not all Southern Youth have succumbed to the nihilist degeneracy personified in man-boy, but that in fact a spark of grace and civilization still reside in Southern Youth, and such knowledge gives Mr Hippo some small hope for the future.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Mr Hippos Garden
On Mr Hippos many past visits to the beach he had noted the abundance of the ornamental shrub Oleander.
This spring, desiring to plant one to re-create in one small way the fond vision Mr Hippo has of the beach (it would go right beside the pool) Mr Hippo ventured to his local garden supply store to purchase one.
Mr Hippo was distressed to be informed that the garden store didn't stock them, since they do not survive winter where Mr Hippo lives.
However, Mr Hippo, being the plucky courageous and adventurous hippo that he is decided to try and grow one anyway.
He determined what location of the yard would provide the warmest micro-clime to grow plants that normally exist only in a higher climate zone than his, and, desiring to have his tiny piece of the beach at home, procured one on his recent beach retreat.
Mr Hippo also marveled at the small trees growing in abundance and determined to acquire one of those too. However, none of the nurseries he called had the specimen in stock.
It actually turned out to be a good thing for Mr Hippo that there were none in stock, since the only reason they were so small and interesting is that they grew that way in response to the harsh climate conditions, and that if Mr Hippo had actually planted one at Casa-del-Hippo, in a few years it would have grown into an 80 foot monster with a 60 ft spread.
Of course, Mr Hippo would not be around to see it reach its mature size, but one must not be a selfish hippo, but instead take consideration for those that will follow in ones footsteps.
The plant made it safely home in the larger of the two vehicles that Mr and Mrs Hippo drove to the beach and now it resides colourfully in the ground beside the back step of Mr Hippos abode, snug against a south facing wall.
Mr Hippo can only hope that the conditions for the successful maturation of the plant will be suitable, and that his beach side acquisition will grow over the years and be a marvel to all that gaze upon it.
This spring, desiring to plant one to re-create in one small way the fond vision Mr Hippo has of the beach (it would go right beside the pool) Mr Hippo ventured to his local garden supply store to purchase one.
Mr Hippo was distressed to be informed that the garden store didn't stock them, since they do not survive winter where Mr Hippo lives.
However, Mr Hippo, being the plucky courageous and adventurous hippo that he is decided to try and grow one anyway.
He determined what location of the yard would provide the warmest micro-clime to grow plants that normally exist only in a higher climate zone than his, and, desiring to have his tiny piece of the beach at home, procured one on his recent beach retreat.
Mr Hippo also marveled at the small trees growing in abundance and determined to acquire one of those too. However, none of the nurseries he called had the specimen in stock.
It actually turned out to be a good thing for Mr Hippo that there were none in stock, since the only reason they were so small and interesting is that they grew that way in response to the harsh climate conditions, and that if Mr Hippo had actually planted one at Casa-del-Hippo, in a few years it would have grown into an 80 foot monster with a 60 ft spread.
Of course, Mr Hippo would not be around to see it reach its mature size, but one must not be a selfish hippo, but instead take consideration for those that will follow in ones footsteps.
The plant made it safely home in the larger of the two vehicles that Mr and Mrs Hippo drove to the beach and now it resides colourfully in the ground beside the back step of Mr Hippos abode, snug against a south facing wall.
Mr Hippo can only hope that the conditions for the successful maturation of the plant will be suitable, and that his beach side acquisition will grow over the years and be a marvel to all that gaze upon it.
A Rose by any Other Name
Mr Hippo takes note of the insistence of certain members of this group to calling him "Keith".
He finds it rather amusing since Mr Hippo has never shared his given name with anyone in this group, nor has he any intention, since such familiarity should only be reserved for family and friends, which, Mr Hippo has previously stated, are completely lacking in this group.
However, Mr Hippo, being the thoughtful and considerate hippo that he always is, and being aware of the tenuous grasp some people have on reality, will not consider pursuing the matter further, since he doesn't want to be responsible for another persons final tumble into the abyss of total madness.
Mr Hippo wishes to assure the members here that if they wish (for whatever reasons they have) to continue to refer to Mr Hippo as "Keith" he will continue to respond to their posts ,and will continue to interact with everyone in here with the respect and consideration each and every one of them deserves an members of the human race.
When you get right down to it, Mr Hippo doesn't really care what anyone calls him, as long as they don't call him late for dinner
He finds it rather amusing since Mr Hippo has never shared his given name with anyone in this group, nor has he any intention, since such familiarity should only be reserved for family and friends, which, Mr Hippo has previously stated, are completely lacking in this group.
However, Mr Hippo, being the thoughtful and considerate hippo that he always is, and being aware of the tenuous grasp some people have on reality, will not consider pursuing the matter further, since he doesn't want to be responsible for another persons final tumble into the abyss of total madness.
Mr Hippo wishes to assure the members here that if they wish (for whatever reasons they have) to continue to refer to Mr Hippo as "Keith" he will continue to respond to their posts ,and will continue to interact with everyone in here with the respect and consideration each and every one of them deserves an members of the human race.
When you get right down to it, Mr Hippo doesn't really care what anyone calls him, as long as they don't call him late for dinner
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
No Deal Mr Dobson
Mr Hippo believes he has laid out clearly the terms under which he will accept
Mr Dobsons offer to share winnings.
If Mr Dobson does not wish to comply with Mr Hippos simple request to post a scan of Mr Dobsons alleged powerball ticket to prove that it in fact exists, there can be no deal.
Once again, if Mr Dobson will post a scan of his powerball ticket for this wednesdays drawing, Mr Hippo will consider Mr Dobsons offer, but untill such scan is posted, there can be no deal.
Mr Hippo
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mr Dobson wrote:
Wrong, unlike you, who will give a measley $1,000 on a $102 million winning,or 1/1000th of 1% I will give any clerk what they ask for, up to $1 million dollars or 1%.
If they are silly enough to ask for an Escalade that is what they will get. Yes, I do project my values and hope they will ask for a college education or a house. Yell us what is wrong with that?
As far as sharing Wednesdays drawing, yes or no!
No more of your silliness like the $50 bet, where you played around for 6 months and then welshed. This shows that, once again you want a one way street. You would want your million if I win, but would welch if you win.
If I win you would get a million dollars. I would even fly you to St. Paul to go to the lottery office with me and go before the press.
If you are afraid I would stiff you, the way you did me, all you would have to do is take our 2 e-mails, my offer and your acceptance, and go to Ramsey County Court. There are tons of lawyers who would take your case.
Deal or no deal Keith?
Mr Dobsons offer to share winnings.
If Mr Dobson does not wish to comply with Mr Hippos simple request to post a scan of Mr Dobsons alleged powerball ticket to prove that it in fact exists, there can be no deal.
Once again, if Mr Dobson will post a scan of his powerball ticket for this wednesdays drawing, Mr Hippo will consider Mr Dobsons offer, but untill such scan is posted, there can be no deal.
Mr Hippo
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mr Dobson wrote:
Wrong, unlike you, who will give a measley $1,000 on a $102 million winning,or 1/1000th of 1% I will give any clerk what they ask for, up to $1 million dollars or 1%.
If they are silly enough to ask for an Escalade that is what they will get. Yes, I do project my values and hope they will ask for a college education or a house. Yell us what is wrong with that?
As far as sharing Wednesdays drawing, yes or no!
No more of your silliness like the $50 bet, where you played around for 6 months and then welshed. This shows that, once again you want a one way street. You would want your million if I win, but would welch if you win.
If I win you would get a million dollars. I would even fly you to St. Paul to go to the lottery office with me and go before the press.
If you are afraid I would stiff you, the way you did me, all you would have to do is take our 2 e-mails, my offer and your acceptance, and go to Ramsey County Court. There are tons of lawyers who would take your case.
Deal or no deal Keith?
Just a good old boy
A persons reference to that classic TV show "The Dukes of Hazzard" got Mr Hippo thinking about the words to the title song, and a conversation Mr Hippo had with a co-worker last night, a 20 year old man-boy.
After enduring the man-boys endless blatherings on about his bitches, his homies and getting drunk, and taking into account his mannerisms and clothing style, Mr Hippo was forced to ask his co-worker if he was in fact a wigger.
He just laughed and said, I guess I am, but really, I'm a redneck, a good old boy.
Obviously a 21st century good old boy tries to walk talk, dress and generally act like a ghetto gangsta.
It's not entirely his fault, Mr Hippo believes his co-worker is the product of a liberal parenting style coupled with unlimited exposure to MTV.
Mr Hippo takes some amusement in the fact that alternating between telephone conversations between his bitches and his homies, he would call his mother to make sure she had put clean sheets on his bed.
Speaking of beds, our young gangsta wanna-be had moved into the finished basement of his parents home.
He tried to engage Mr Hippo by giving details of all the "bitches" he has "on the hook" and the details of the remodelling job in his parents basement. It will be truly a man-boys paradise, complete with black lights and even a clapper to turn the lights off and on.
Mr Hippo suggested to the man-boy that he might want to re-consider installing a clapper, since the sound of said man-boys hips pounding the upturned butt of one of his bitches while doing her doggy style might approximate the sound of a hand clap, thus causing the lights to go off and on in rhythm to his thrusting.
Mr Hippo is afraid he embarassed the man-boy, because he replied "oh yeah? when was the last time you did doggy style with Mrs Hippo".
Mr Hippo just laughed and assured him that the love life of Mr and Mrs Hippo was not something Mr Hippo would discuss with the likes of him.
At that point the man-boy acted all offended and slunk off.
After enduring the man-boys endless blatherings on about his bitches, his homies and getting drunk, and taking into account his mannerisms and clothing style, Mr Hippo was forced to ask his co-worker if he was in fact a wigger.
He just laughed and said, I guess I am, but really, I'm a redneck, a good old boy.
Obviously a 21st century good old boy tries to walk talk, dress and generally act like a ghetto gangsta.
It's not entirely his fault, Mr Hippo believes his co-worker is the product of a liberal parenting style coupled with unlimited exposure to MTV.
Mr Hippo takes some amusement in the fact that alternating between telephone conversations between his bitches and his homies, he would call his mother to make sure she had put clean sheets on his bed.
Speaking of beds, our young gangsta wanna-be had moved into the finished basement of his parents home.
He tried to engage Mr Hippo by giving details of all the "bitches" he has "on the hook" and the details of the remodelling job in his parents basement. It will be truly a man-boys paradise, complete with black lights and even a clapper to turn the lights off and on.
Mr Hippo suggested to the man-boy that he might want to re-consider installing a clapper, since the sound of said man-boys hips pounding the upturned butt of one of his bitches while doing her doggy style might approximate the sound of a hand clap, thus causing the lights to go off and on in rhythm to his thrusting.
Mr Hippo is afraid he embarassed the man-boy, because he replied "oh yeah? when was the last time you did doggy style with Mrs Hippo".
Mr Hippo just laughed and assured him that the love life of Mr and Mrs Hippo was not something Mr Hippo would discuss with the likes of him.
At that point the man-boy acted all offended and slunk off.
$1000 for being lazy is quite fair
A fan of Mr Hippo posted the following in a web forum. Mr Hippos answer follows
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
WOW! If Mr. Hippo wins the lottery for $102 million dollars he will give the
clerk $1,000. How generous! Maybe he'll buy the clerk a case of Pepsi too.
Whenever I buy a lottery ticket, I always ask, "And if I am lucky enough to
win what would you like?".
I love those who say, "A house or college or college for my kids". I really
want to cry when they say, "An Escalade".
My favorite was, "Pay off my college bills, pay for grad school and my wedding
in June." I wish I could have.
Make you a deal Keith. If I win Wednesday, I give you a million and if you
win, you give me a million?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mr Hippos reply:
Mr Hippo thinks that rewarding a clerk $1000 for sheer laziness is more than
generous.
Mr Hippo thinks it is both arrogant and presumptious on Mr Dobsons part to pass
judgment on the answers clerks give to his hypothetical question.
Mr Hippo fantasizes about what he would do with his winnings, and he is certain
Mr Dobson does the same, so why would Mr Dobson denigrate the answers the clerks
give?
Mr Hippo thinks Mr Dobson relishes the thought of handing out a few pennies to
the clerk that sells him the winning ticket, but only on condition they give him
a suitable answer.
As for Mr Dobsons offer of the winner giving the other 1 million dollars, if Mr
Dobson will post the image of a scanned copy of his Wednesday powerball ticket
prior to Wednesdays draw, Mr Hippo will consider Mr Dobsons proposition.
Mr Hippo
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
WOW! If Mr. Hippo wins the lottery for $102 million dollars he will give the
clerk $1,000. How generous! Maybe he'll buy the clerk a case of Pepsi too.
Whenever I buy a lottery ticket, I always ask, "And if I am lucky enough to
win what would you like?".
I love those who say, "A house or college or college for my kids". I really
want to cry when they say, "An Escalade".
My favorite was, "Pay off my college bills, pay for grad school and my wedding
in June." I wish I could have.
Make you a deal Keith. If I win Wednesday, I give you a million and if you
win, you give me a million?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mr Hippos reply:
Mr Hippo thinks that rewarding a clerk $1000 for sheer laziness is more than
generous.
Mr Hippo thinks it is both arrogant and presumptious on Mr Dobsons part to pass
judgment on the answers clerks give to his hypothetical question.
Mr Hippo fantasizes about what he would do with his winnings, and he is certain
Mr Dobson does the same, so why would Mr Dobson denigrate the answers the clerks
give?
Mr Hippo thinks Mr Dobson relishes the thought of handing out a few pennies to
the clerk that sells him the winning ticket, but only on condition they give him
a suitable answer.
As for Mr Dobsons offer of the winner giving the other 1 million dollars, if Mr
Dobson will post the image of a scanned copy of his Wednesday powerball ticket
prior to Wednesdays draw, Mr Hippo will consider Mr Dobsons proposition.
Mr Hippo
A Mystery Solved?
While Mr and Mrs Hippo and family were enjoying their beach retreat, Mrs Hippo non-the-less insisted in calling home every couple of days to check the phone messages.
Mr Hippo, possessing the sound belief that even the most pressing matters will eventually resolve themselves or go away, refused to even consider wasting a moment of his precious retreat on such trivialites, however, since Mrs Hippo is a completely free and self determining individual, and out of complete respect for her, he agreed to heart her summary of what the messages were about.
Mrs Hippo was quite concerned that every single day there were one or more hangups. She was afraid that some nefarious individual or individuals were phoning Casa-Del-Hippo in attempt to ascertain if it was safe for a burglary.
Mr Hippo believes that is why he has Home Owners insurance, but Mrs Hippo was so concerned that the sanctity of the Hippo family home might have been violated that she had a nearly friend drop by and inspect the exterior for signs of forced entry.
Mrs Hippo breathed a hearty sigh of relief when her friend informed her that all was safe and secure, yet still the hangups continued.
Mr Hippo believes that within 24 hours of arriving home, the mystery had been solved.
In that time frame, Mr Hippo received not one, not two, but three phone calls concerning generous offers from credit card companies he does business with offering him, out of consideration of his being such a valued customer, the peace of mind and security of complete credit protection.
For a cost ranging from 93 cents to $1.10 per month of the entire carried balance, they would monitor Mr Hippos credit, make his payments if he got sick or laid off, and generally give him complete peace of mind that he would never have to fear being the victim of identity thieves.
Mr Hippo, thinking that being sick or laid off is when he would need his cards the most, and having a plan to simply refuse to pay any charges made by identity thieves if they used his card politely declines their most generous offer, sometimes 3 or more times in one phone call.
Mr Hippo is now convinced that all those hangups were simply concerned individuals so sick with worry about Mr Hippo experiencing a potential financial disaster that they simply called him over and over, anxious and probably unable to sleep.
Mr Hippo on the other hand, never worries about financial disasters, and wishes to assure any concerned readers working for credit card companies that Mr Hippo sleeps soundly every single night and suggests if they are unable to, perhaps they should find another line of work.
Mr Hippo, possessing the sound belief that even the most pressing matters will eventually resolve themselves or go away, refused to even consider wasting a moment of his precious retreat on such trivialites, however, since Mrs Hippo is a completely free and self determining individual, and out of complete respect for her, he agreed to heart her summary of what the messages were about.
Mrs Hippo was quite concerned that every single day there were one or more hangups. She was afraid that some nefarious individual or individuals were phoning Casa-Del-Hippo in attempt to ascertain if it was safe for a burglary.
Mr Hippo believes that is why he has Home Owners insurance, but Mrs Hippo was so concerned that the sanctity of the Hippo family home might have been violated that she had a nearly friend drop by and inspect the exterior for signs of forced entry.
Mrs Hippo breathed a hearty sigh of relief when her friend informed her that all was safe and secure, yet still the hangups continued.
Mr Hippo believes that within 24 hours of arriving home, the mystery had been solved.
In that time frame, Mr Hippo received not one, not two, but three phone calls concerning generous offers from credit card companies he does business with offering him, out of consideration of his being such a valued customer, the peace of mind and security of complete credit protection.
For a cost ranging from 93 cents to $1.10 per month of the entire carried balance, they would monitor Mr Hippos credit, make his payments if he got sick or laid off, and generally give him complete peace of mind that he would never have to fear being the victim of identity thieves.
Mr Hippo, thinking that being sick or laid off is when he would need his cards the most, and having a plan to simply refuse to pay any charges made by identity thieves if they used his card politely declines their most generous offer, sometimes 3 or more times in one phone call.
Mr Hippo is now convinced that all those hangups were simply concerned individuals so sick with worry about Mr Hippo experiencing a potential financial disaster that they simply called him over and over, anxious and probably unable to sleep.
Mr Hippo on the other hand, never worries about financial disasters, and wishes to assure any concerned readers working for credit card companies that Mr Hippo sleeps soundly every single night and suggests if they are unable to, perhaps they should find another line of work.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Mr Hippo Feels Lucky
While preparing for the long trek home yesterday, Mr Hippo found that he needed to buy a bag of ice for his coolers. Usually Mr Hippo never carries cash, so he would have used his debit card, but this time he had 3 singles, the result of a refund for a 12 pack of Dr Pepper purchased in error due to deceptive advertising and cashier incompetence. Mr Hippo was prepared to wage an internet campaign against the offending establishment over the overcharged 3 dollars, but fortunately for all, the manager saw Mr Hippos point immediately and gave him a refund, plus his free 12 pack of qualifying pepsi product. But Mr Hippo digresses. When he purchased his bag of ice, intending to pay cash, the price came to $2.03 Mr Hippo apologized to the casher and said that all he had was 3 singles, which he offered in payment. The clerk responded by handing back one single rather than go through the bother of counting out ninty seven cents in change. Mr Hippo considered that to be a rare stroke of good luck and immediately decided to capitalize on his luck by purchasing a powerball ticket. When Mr Hippo wins the jackpot Wednesday ($102 million and climbing), he might consider repaying the clerk's generocity by presenting her with a crisp $1000 bill, unless of course Mr Hippos lawyer advises him that the 3 cents might constitute a 3% share in the winning ticket, and thus it might just be better to forget the whole thing. When Mr Hippo claims his multimillion dollar prise, his first order of business will be to return to the beach to purchase a fabulous beach front mansion, where he will wile away the days playing in the surf, building his model train layout and working on his philanthropic endeavours. Of course, thats just when he's at the beach, becasue Mrs Hippo absolutely insists on purchasing a mountain retreat for those months when it is too cold to go in the water anyway. Regards, Lucky Hippo
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